You're not Singhing any more

Week 7: Top 10 Results - 4 November 2018

We begin with the promised Aretha Franklin tribute, starring Oti as Aretha, making this the second week in a row that she's had a starring role in the group routine, and long may it continue. It's a greatest hits megamix kicking off with 'I Say A Little Prayer For You' as Oti is joined by Janette, Katya, Dianne and Karen, and then it segues into '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', where it all goes a bit waltzy and Oti joins up to partner with Pasha, as well as being joined by Anton and Nadiya and Kevin and...Ash-Leigh Hunter, I think? She's not one of the regular pros, anyway, and she would be my best guess [I wondered if it was Gordana. Either way, why do we have so many male pros? - Rad]. Then 'Respect' kicks in and Giovanni, Graziano, Neil, Aljaž and Johannes trust out to fling some of the ladies about (can you tell it's all moving quite quickly and I'm struggling to keep track of who's doing what where? Look, Gorka and AJ have popped up in the background so I'm pretty sure I've spotted everyone except Luba now, give me a break here) as it transitions into 'Think' and everyone's up high and down low and god these pro dances are really hard to recap sometimes. There were a lot of people doing stuff in a lot of places, I can assure you of that much at least.

Thankfully, things get a little clearer when Tess and Claudia turn up (both in black with their shoulders out), and Tess reminds us that there were tens aplenty for Ashley and Faye, and Lauren and Stacey both got their highest scores so far. The judges re-enter, and Craig is sporting a suspiciously large bow tie. Is he hiding a camera in there? Will he be squirting water from it later? Watch this space. Tess promises us music from Jess Glynne to come, which will somehow be less excruciating than what's due to happen on The X Factor later, but first let's have a peek backstage at everyone getting ready for the big night: Faye is feeling fatigued, Joe gets the thumbs up from Dianne, Danny says that everyone is running around looking tense, Lauren can't remember what Saturdays were like before this, Kate says that they've all come to know each other really well, Ashley says that to have made it halfway means so much to everyone, Dr Ranj says how much fun he's having seeing everyone on a Friday and Saturday. Charles says they're like family now, and that's why it's so painful whenever someone has to go. Stacey says that you never know when it's going to be your last dance, so you just have to go for it and enjoy every second. Graeme and Ranj tell each other to break a leg. The judges remind us that the dances should be bigger and better by this point. After their dances, Ranj is pleased to have had lovely feedback from the judges. Graeme feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. Charles and Karen are chanting "28! 28! 28!" Kate is proud of having at least completed the Argentine tango. Danny declares that he's ready to dance again. AJ is pleased to have got 31. Dianne gives Joe another hug. Stacey is "in a state of shock" after getting 36. Faye thinks the experience of having done the tango was amazing. Ashley is very grateful for her 10s.

After a quick refresher of the scoreboard, Tess has got the Cue Cards Of Doom. The following couples are safe: Joe and Dianne, Kate and Aljaž (who are very surprised and grateful), Faye and Giovanni (who does the "thank you! Thank you!" thing, so at least now I finally know what the others in the Clauditorium were making fun of last night), and Stacey and Kevin (who rips off that awful hat straightaway, burn it immediately). The first couple in the dance-off is...Charles and Karen, who do not entirely look surprised. Charles walks over to Tess and is very much "it is what it is", and says they can only do their best in the dance-off. Tess asks Bruno for some guidance, and Bruno squeaks that he's shocked and surprised and he doesn't get it (that a man who has been in the bottom two twice before has gone into the bottom two again from seventh out of ten on the leaderboard?), so he advises him just to not overemphasise the rise and fall, but otherwise to do the same thing again.

Claudia is with the first four safe couples, and regrettably Kevin has put the hat back on. Claudia wants to ask Stacey about her mum Di, who it turns out is living her best life right now, and Stacey is worried that she's going to take it very badly when she gets voted out. Everyone waves to Stacey's mum, though nobody mentions that she's got it goin' on. Faye and Giovanni are doing Giovanni's favourite dance next week, which is of course the jive. Faye giggles that Giovanni has shown her a lot of videos of himself jiving. "Every single day," Giovanni chuckles. Claudia encourages Joe and Dianne to narc on each other's idiosyncrasies, which they both demonstrate fairly amusingly: Joe mimics Dianne running through an entire routine to herself while standing on the spot, and Dianne impersonates Joe doing a different noise for every movement. These two got stealthily likeable, didn't they? Kate has the quickstep next week, and has just found out that she will be marrying Aljaž for it. I guess she won't be wearing white, not after an Argentine tango.

Next up is Jess Glynne, the world's most inexplicable popstar, singing a song called 'Thursday', accompanied by Graziano and Nadiya doing some dancing. Honestly, why not just broadcast a blank screen for four minutes, it would have entirely the same impact.

Onwards! The judges arrive for their weekly debrief with Claudia, who's ready to talk in detail. Danny's quickstep is replayed in slow motion, which makes it look even worse, and Claudia suggests that it would have been easier to recover in a slow dance "or the conga", and Darcey says that one person missing a move can affect both people in a dance. Shirley wants to look at Ashley moving in perfect synchronisation with Pasha, and says that the foxtrot and the rumba are two of the hardest dances to do because they're so slow, and this was probably the best foxtrot she's seen on the show [The foxtrot isn't that slow, though. At least not this series - Rad]. Claudia reminds Craig that he challenged us to watch Lauren's dance back to see the slight hesitation in her series of kicks, so we do just that - though upon rewatching it, Shirley and Darcey think she just kicked in the wrong direction rather than hesitating. Bruno wants to rewatch Ranj for the flamboyance and energy, and for the proper samba happening in there. "Full Ricky Martin mode", Bruno reckons.

Let's see who's joining Charles and Karen in the dance-off. Ashley and Pasha are safe, as are Lauren and AJ, and Graeme and Oti. That leaves Dr Ranj and Janette, and Danny and Amy, in contention for the final spot. The couple in the bottom two is...Dr Ranj and Janette. Danny and Amy look quite shocked, and Amy says "thank you" right into the camera about a thousand times.

Tess asks Ranj how it feels to be in the dance-off, and he says that at least he gets to do one of his favourite dances again. Shirley advises Ranj to keep his samba a little more flat, and bring the party to it because frankly it's too late in the game to start trying to improve the technical aspects. She phrases that slightly more kindly than I just did.

Up in the Clauditorium, Graeme says that he's happy to be through, and to have done his waltz justice because it was for his grandparents and he didn't want to mess it up. Ashley and Pasha have got couple's choice next week and will be doing contemporary, which Ashley says was always her first choice even though Claudia seems to think they should have gone with 'k-chaaaa!' (that's "jazz", for the uninitiated). Lauren is honoured to still be here and to have made the 30s club. Danny says he wasn't sure if they were staying or going, and Amy says she's been on the verge of tears because she knows how well Danny could do that quickstep, and he just got unlucky on the night. Danny says he feels bad for letting Amy down.

The obligatory trailer for the tie-in Instagrams, Twitters, Facebooks, podcasts, BBC3 videos, It Takes Twos, skywritings and memorial turnips follows next, and then it's time for the dance-off. Ranj and Janette go on first, and given that 'Freedom! '90' is the most expensive song in the history of the world, I wonder if the BBC have to pay to use it again. Anyway, Ranj and Janette really sell the party atmosphere, although Ranj does spend quite a chunk of it staring at Janette's feet. Charles and Karen repeat their Viennese waltz, and I manage to stay awake throughout, which is not bad considering that's the second time I've had to watch an extremely boring dance today.

The judges vote, and Craig says that he found this to be a difficult decision, but he's going with the most improved couple: Ranj and Janette. Darcey says she doesn't want to have to choose, but the more improved performance was Charles and Karen. Bruno asks if he can save them both, but says he has to save the most polished dancer and performer, so he votes for Charles and Karen. So over to Shirley with the casting vote: she says it's heartbreaking because she thinks both couples did amazingly well despite itty-bitty mistakes, but due to great timing and sophistication (and you can see all over Ranj and Janette's faces that they know what's coming as soon as Shirley says "sophistication"), she is going to save Charles and Karen.

Ranj says he can't express how much this has meant to him - he's done something that he could only have dreamed of, and Janette says that he's an incredible human being who saves children's lives, and she thinks Ranj is the epitome of what the show is about: she couldn't have asked for a better friend, partner or series. In turn, Ranj says he can't thank Janette enough for putting up with the best and worst of him, and given him a new love that he never thought he would have, and she's one of his best friends. Awww. Tess asks Ranj if he's going to keep dancing, and Ranj assures her that he absolutely will.

Ranj and Janette get 'If I Could Turn Back Time' for their goodbye song, which feels deeply appropriate: Ranj lip-syncs his little heart out before turning to face the audience, slowly walking backwards off the stage mournfully repeating "Miss Ranjie.... Miss Raaaanjie...... Miss...... Raaaaaaaanjiiiieeeee...".

Reactions over the credits: Lauren and AJ are in the 30 club, did they mention? Danny is relieved. Charles thinks it's not about how you fall, it's how you pick yourself up. Kevin is proud of Stacey for how hard she worked this week. Ranj had a blast and danced his socks off. Graeme adores Ranj and can't believe he won't be seeing him every day. Joe thinks Ranj's smile was infectious. Kate and Aljaž blow kisses to Ranj and Janette. Pasha's all "right, got to go and do another dance now, laters".

Next Saturday: nine couples trying to get to Blackpool, a Remembrance Day routine, Andrea and Mateo Bocelli, and most importantly: the return of Rad! [Oh yay, it's week before BLACKPOOL week,  isn't it? Which also means I get Blackpool Hangover week? Guess who put the rota together...  - Rad]