Monday, 14 October 2019

You get a 9! And you get a 9! And you get a 9! (Not you Alex)

Week 4: Top 13 Perform - 12 October 2019

Last week! Movie week did its usual movie week trick of featuring a ton of musicals, loads of Disney and some TV theme tunes that only sort of half-count as movies. This week! One of those awkward weeks in between movie week and HALLOWEEN where the show has to work out where everyone is on their official journey!
We open with everyone banging on about how important it is to repeat everything and if that’s a warning that tonight they haven’t bothered to create any new material, then… that’ll make my recapping duty a lot easier, I’m all for it.

Credits! Looking at the mini Jameses dancing in the background, the signs were all there, weren’t they? [Haha, I made the exact same observation this week too! - Steve]

Tess and Claudia enter, on the arms of Gorka and Giovanni. Poor Nancy, one day they’ll give her something to do. (I wonder which will come first: same-sex dance partners or women accompanying our female presenters down the stairs). Dresswatch: Claudia’s in a black velvet dress with spiky shoulders that’s pure Halloween, whilst Tess is in a sparkly stripy foil concoction that is a really awkward shape, especially in the skirt. It’s something that might work if we ever did 60s/70s sci-fi week but outside of that, less so. Our judges enter: Bruno, Motsi, Craig and Shirley – and Shirley’s in a cape. I wonder if that’s trolling (and/or a tribute to) David?

Speaking of David, he and Nadiya are our first couple to enter, followed by: Emma and Anton; Chris and Karen; Emma W and Aljaž; Dev and Dianne; Saffron and AJ; Mike and Katya; Michelle and Giovanni; Will and Janette; Catherine and Johannes; Alex and Neil; Karim and Amy; Kelvin and Oti. There are some, um, interesting choices in styling going on.

Chris and Karen

On the subject of interesting styling choices, these two are also in sparkly foil fabrics which makes me think Vicky Gill got a load on a 3 for 2. He’s Elton John (you can tell by the oversized specs. Well, either that or Su Pollard) and she’s… MC Hammer? Their VT features Karen visiting Chris doing stand-up and telling us she was surprised that he was actually quite funny. Sadly we don’t witness this for ourselves as the only things we hear him say are telling the audience that Karen was also there and whining about how the cast got given superhero names and all he got was Bananaman.  That’s nothing, mate, apparently Catherine got ‘Jasmine’ – if that’s the character from Next Men, it’s pretty niche, and if it’s from Aladdin that’s pretty off-theme. [Also and this is of niche interest I'm sure, but I think Karen was sitting next to Jason Cook, who wrote Hebburn - the BBC2 sitcom that Chris starred in. - Steve]

Their jive is to ‘Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting)’ and the training footage veered between pretty competent and pretty messy, so I’m intrigued as to what’s going to happen. The training footage was good preparation, as it turns out. It starts quite well, then he seems to stop, then it careens all over the place from fun and energetic to lumpen and clearly tiring him out to a bit where they’re massively out of time with each other to other bits that are seemingly competent. His mouth is gaping open the whole time, which adds to the feeling of sloppiness, and the foil Hammer pants make Karen’s bum look ENORMOUS. [And the jacket doesn't really do much for Chris's body shape either. I've not seen a suit make anyone look so boxy since I stopped watching The X Factor. - SteveThe fact that the song is being played at a super-fast pace probably doesn’t help matters but props to him for mostly keeping up with it, I guess?

We welcome the singers: Hayley, Jamie, Jill and Tommy and Dave Arch and his wonderful orchestra, and Chris and Karen are trying to get their breath.

Shirley says there’s a false assumption that jive has to be danced on the toes, but it can be danced with the whole foot, and she’s going to give him a point for that, whilst taking one away for him going wrong. Bruno says this song’s timing is really hard to follow, and he made a mistake but managed to cover it up quite well. Craig says he disagrees with Shirley and it was flat footed. Chris says Craig’s flirting with him and pulling his pigtails in the playground, and Craig says he’ll have the jacket. Motsi says he’s really grown, and he’s very ‘authentic’. I can see how ‘authentic’ as a comment might fit with, say, an emotional dance like contempowaft or rumba, but pretending to be Elton John by wearing rainbow bacofoil, novelty glasses and feathers doesn’t exactly scream Dogme 95 values. 

In the Clauditorium, Claudia says she hopes he heard his ‘friends’ on the balcony cheering when Motsi said he was a changed man. Changed or authentic, which is it? Scores: 6, 7, 6, 7 for a total of 26 and Chris asks if they can show the leaderboard. Heh.

Time for our Very Special Terms and Conditions Guest, who happens to be Jason Donovan, and much as I am a diehard Neighbours fan who will always love the Donobot, all I could think was how it’s going to muck up the ‘who would you like to compete’ polls on Monkseal’s blog.

Emma and Anton

Their VT is all about how the narrative of their dance is a couple who’ve had a row, then she tells us ‘we choreographed that together’. I hope that's going method and inciting a row, because if Anton sees that VT you'll get one. Play about with that Latin rubbish all you want, but don't touch his ballroom. All he has is being the 'King' of it. It's not even Janette's 'double Christmas champion' (and don't mention that that could have been him wining with Katie Derham had Ruth Langsford not ruined it all by staying in too long). They then go to her old drama school and they EMOTE in front of about three students and given how many times Emma says ‘emotional’ and stares wild-eyed down the camera I think we might be about to see her touching the divine.

Their Viennese Waltz is to ‘Send in the Clowns’ which is pretty much the right level of melodrama and ham needed to accompany that VT. Emma’s doing her best ‘don’t fucking touch me’ face, which she’s perfected after years of playing a woman in an on-off marriage to Billy Mitchell, before she forgives Anton at the end and gives out an enormous sigh like the theatrical luvvie she is. Performance aside, it’s a perfectly solid piece of lovely Anton ballroom, and you can see Emma trying really really hard to put her hand in the right position on his shoulder, but the dancing isn’t quite as dramatic as the music and the facial expressions. 

Bruno calls it her best dance yet and goes on about what the song means like he’s writing an essay for his Performing Arts A-level and says the dance encapsulated that in ‘one point twenty minutes’. Craig laughs at Bruno saying ‘one point twenty minutes’ a bit and then praises the style and rotation and calls it gorgeous. Motsi says ‘she has arrived’ and yes, that did feel more like what we were expecting Emma to be like, and that there wasn’t much to say about the dance because it was so special. Shirley says ‘if you can imagine it, you can achieve it’ and heaven knows there are many things we’ve all imagined ourselves doing [primarily with Pasha / Aljaž / insert pro of your choice, it might even be Anton, we won’t judge] but that doesn’t mean we’re going to achieve them Shirl. Anyway all ‘one minute and twenty seconds’ was lovely and their best dance yet.

In the Clauditorium, Emma says how they did lots of improv to help their routine and it was quite easy actually, Claud. Scores: 8, 9, 9, 9 for a total of 35, and that’s a) Anton’s joint best-ever score and b) some hot, hot bullshit.

Dev and Dianne

After Dev being covered in blue last week, this week they’ve had the least effort thrown into their styling, which seems to have been decided along the lines of ‘Oooh Dianne’s hair is bright red, let’s just make everything bright red.’ In their VT, Dev says last week was the first time he wasn’t worried about technique, because it was couple’s choice and no-one even knows what that is yet, you can just do any old shit (/unless you’re paired with AJ and he picks contemporary).

This series’ endless parade of cha chas continues with this dance to ‘Dancing With A Stranger’ and not only are they in bright red top to toe, the lighting is also bright red so you can’t see a bladdy thing and I feel like someone ought to have taught this trick to Anton many series ago. That aside, it’s fine, it’s a cha cha so mostly it’s a little dull. They play it a bit po-faced, but there are some nice moments in the side-by-side parts where Dev’s hips are working hard.

Craig says he liked the hips but he thought Dev needs to work on straight legs and his arms, and it wasn’t ‘cheeky’ enough for a cha cha. Motsi says he has nice energy and keeps to the beat well but sometimes he keeps his focus too much on Dianne and we lose the connection with him. Shirley prefaces her comments with ‘you know I’m a fan, right,’ which isn’t going to go well. The crux of her slightly garbled critique is that he’s a trick-magnet but not so good at shaping - a ‘body’ dancer, not a ‘line’ one. Bruno says he’s good at working with the music but doesn’t know how to sell it yet – there are some fantastic movements but in places he seems to doubt himself.

In the Clauditorium, Claudia asks if he understands all the commentary and he says ‘I’ll take it’, which is a nice swerve. Scores: 6, 7, 7, 7 for a total of 27.

(Catherine and) Johannes

Their VT sees them going to a nail bar (because that’s where their dance is set and I was trying to figure out which brands they’d bought in as props during the dance – I think Barry M? #nailgeek) and Johannes pulls focus by wearing a purple hat. This might be a precursor for the dance. Oh, and Catherine says the Charleston is scary because it’s full of ‘acrobatics’ but given the most recent version of the dance we saw was *that* dance-off last week, anything you’re doing will look fantastic in comparison.

They’re dancing to ‘Single Ladies’ and are both in hot pink, and Johannes is clearly living out his dreams. He is ON and pulls out every trick in the book, combining a good mix of the moves from the video and regular Charleston moves. The outfit yet again accentuates his bum, and his nipples for those who prefer that. Catherine is also present – and looks more comfortable in the side by side parts – she’s a bit hesitant in the lifts and somersaults. Also, her breasts are bouncing EVERYWHERE and given she’s in a fairly low-cut top, it’s a miracle they stayed in place.

Motsi says she’s been worried that ‘the girls’ are underperforming this year (after you gave Emma  a bunch of 9s?) but ‘here she is’. [For a minute I thought she was talking about Catherine's boobs. -SteveShirley says she can conquer the world with the right attitude and partner. Bruno praises how packed it was. Craig says the footwork was random and the swivel was haphazard and it’s a nightmare dancing next to Johannes as he is so good and that either Johannes needs to tone things down, or Catherine needs to pick things up – but he thinks if she did the dance a second time, it’d be amazing. Is that his way of saying he wants her in the dance-off, or an early sign it’ll be judges’ choice if she makes the final?

In the Clauditorium, we learn that Catherine’s family have parties every week and Johannes confirms that he is, indeed, living his best life, if it wasn't already abundantly clear. Scores: 6, 8, 8, 8 for a total of 30 and Catherine cries a bit.

Alex and Neil

Tess tells us that Alex and Neil’s most exciting storyline so far has been increasing their score by one point a week. Their VT features Neil telling Alex to be more aggressive, so she whacks him in the face. Cue a bunch of MRAs calling Ofcom. Alex says she’s comfortable in the day job, but ‘it’s a whole nother game’ dancing. Aww, I miss Chloe sometimes, I hope she’s living her best life wherever she is.

Their tango is to ‘Go Your Own Way’ and they’re dressed as bikers which a) feels a bit of a retread of Kevin and Stacey’s dance last year, and b) LOL it’s Fleetwood Mac, calm yourselves. I actually like Alex’s costume and make-up for tango – I’m less into the dancing. I mean Neil even skips at one point. The footwork is quite clumsy, she feels a bit lost and it’s all quite lacking in content.

Shirley said the first two ‘walls’ were quite nice but there was an issue with her ‘contra check’ and it’s a little bit of an improvement, but not a major one yet. Bruno says it’s good to explore different sides of her personality but something went wrong and she couldn’t get back on it, and the tango needs to be ‘like whiplash’ rather than hesitant. Craig says it looked like she was being thrown about rather than dancing herself but he loved her head work and her acting has improved. Motsi says her performance and presence are getting there, but she’s being a bit overly careful because she’s aware of being watched, and she needs to let go and have fun more because ‘I don’t think we’re ever going to be happy’. I don’t know if that sounded how she wanted it to sound. [Yeah, that really was the most blistering critique of the night and I don't know if it was meant to be or not! - Steve]

Scores: 4, 6, 6, 7 for a total of 23, the same score they got last week, so there goes their ‘journey’. I could potentially see these two being in trouble – although of course we have quite a few of the weaker performers still to come.

There’s a preview coming up in which we learn that most of these people have terrible training outfits.

David and Nadiya

Last week they hit the dance-off again, but were saved again by facing the dirt worst dancer again.  Their VT features David’s hair flying about like mad and them having a song from The Greatest Showman because apparently there wasn’t room for that in movie week despite it being full of Pokemon and Downton Abbey and things that would also work in musicals week. He calls The Greatest Showman the best film of the year before correcting himself with, ‘er, last year?’ Try the year before, David (although I guess it did stick around for a huge chunk of 2018 as well). Also, as with the previous week, he thinks last week went really well. And apparently the song choice this week is a metaphor for his life. Every episode I become more fascinated with David world as it always seems just that sidestep removed from the world the rest of us live in, but in a really endearing way. He also gets his kids and grandkids in for some BABYWARZ points, and the daughters say they’ve never seen him dance, which is quite the shade they’re throwing on the last three weeks.

They’re dancing a quickstep to ‘From Now On’ and the training footage made this look like it was going to be alllll Charleston, so it’s nice to see some actual quickstep content for the first part at least. He’s looking quite dapper in a black suit and Nadiya looks nice in gold – and he seems more relaxed than in previous weeks. He doesn’t stop grinning the whole time, which goes a long way towards selling the dance. Occasionally there are glimmers of technique here – although there’s also a lot of running around and looking gawky as well – but it should see him get some 5s, possibly 6s, and might even give him a bit of a vote boost because lawd knows there’s a huge crossover between fans of this show and fans of The Greatest Showman. 

Bruno says the difference between this week and last week is miraculous and he’s never seen a transformation like this. Craig agrees, saying he’s picked himself up, dusted himself down and he’s finally arrived. Motsi says he doesn’t deserve to be in the dance-off.  Shirley says he’s never tried to be better than anyone else, just on improving himself, which – yes, that’s sort of the ethos of this show, but also sort of not, with the whole scoring and competition thing. 

In the Clauditorium, David tries to thank his kids and grandkids whilst attempting to breathe. Scores: 6, 7, 7, 8 for a total of 28 LOLOLOLOLOLOL. [Yeah, I've seen some baffling scores in my time, but...what?! - Steve] I don’t think I was watching the same dance as those judges, but I’m happy for David as he’s clearly been struggling with being so low and that might see him safe.

Kelvin and Oti

Last week, their musical theatre routine was widely praised and got 10s despite it being called a Charleston and containing barely any Charleston content (I know, I know, Charleston is hardly the genre to get all PURITY OF DAHNCE about). This week they have the rumba and we all know the drill for our first blokerumba VTs so let’s get right to the routine instead.  

They’re dancing to ‘Ain’t No Sunshine; and the sparse set, dark mood lighting and musical arrangement along with their black outfits do them a world of favours, because the whole thing is really atmospheric and stripped back from props, gaudy lighting effects etc. The dancing is really solid, especially for a blokerumba, and they’re both selling SEX in their acting, which we don’t always see in rumbas these days (especially as last series had hardly any rumbas in it at all). He’s still to really be tested in ballroom, but his Latin so far is looking pretty natural – other than a couple of stand-out Danny Mac routines, Kelvin seems the most comfortable man in Latin since Mark Ramprakash.

As for the judging – you know when Arlene would get all unnecessarily sexual? Well times that by four and throw in a ‘finish Craig off’ double entendre from Tess (I know, Tess!) for good measure.  They also chuck about the word MASCULINE a lot because it's a rumba, and Motsi keeps calling him Kevin which I hope is a sign that she can’t pronounce Kelvin rather than her confusing him with Mr Clifton. The judges are so enamoured with the dance - or with Kelvin - that we could be getting more 10s.

Scores: 9, 9, 9, 9 for a total of 36 – and if they reprise that in the final, I wouldn’t bet against it being the first 40 rumba.  Well, if we count the scores in the final, which we probably don’t.

Emma and Aljaž

Last week they dressed our VISCOUNTESS up as a maid chef’s assistant. This week she shows that she genuinely does know what a kitchen is by showing Aljaž how to make a cake. The cake doesn’t look that spectacular, to be honest, they might have thought that one through more if she's angling for a solo cookery show when this is all over.

They’re jiving to ‘Kids in America’ (not the singers’ best hour) and she’s dressed like Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s character from the ‘San Junipero’ episode of Black Mirror, whilst he looks like NKOTB’s embarrassing dad (I’d apologise but I know he’d consider being an embarrassing dad to actually be a massive compliment which is why we love him. That and his arse in white trousers). [I don't know what this says about me but I have honestly never fancied Aljaž more than I did tonight. WOOF. - SteveAljaž’s mouth is going non-stop – making Chris’s jive face look positively restrained. Performance-wise, it’s quite preppy and peppy but her footwork is hesitant in places (and at one point she nearly falls over), though there are some nice lifts – it’s not quite the balls-to-the-wall routine the song merits, but it should see them remaining solidly mid-table.

Motsi says everything was there – speed, technique and personality. Shirley says there must be something in the water with all the also-rans improving. Or some of them, anyway. Bruno says the free drops at the end were ‘wow’ and Craig says he also saw an improvement and is glad that we’ve 'lost the swan, even if we have gained a bit of a headless chicken… in a good way’ whatever that means.

In the Clauditorium, we get a camera glance over to Emma’s husband, whom Claudia says was full of pride, and he looks entirely uncomfortable and fed up and as lacking in pride as it's possible to be. God I love an awkward relative who hates being on camera. He also looks a bit like Nigel Havers because apparently all posh people do indeed look alike. Scores: 7, 7, 7, 7 for a total of 28.

Michelle and Giovanni

Their VT focuses on how they give a name to each of the days, but Stacey and Kevin ran the same VT last year and I have no time for this. These two need their own VT version of the Lovely Debbie McGee boat trip. I love you guys, but you're losing me. Michelle’s training outfit choices remain as unflattering and eclectic as ever – which is a precursor for her salsa outfit which is a riot of mismatched bright colours with a horrible neckline and what appears to be the bloody remains of a squished butterfly in the middle. Her hair is also blown up to 80s Cher proportions and the make-up is full of gaudy blue eyeliner. She’s a beautiful woman but this whole look aged her by a decade and sent her back in time by a good three to four.

They’re dancing to 'Quimbara', which is a great choice, and she continues to sell the dance most of the time, with her sheer gusto doing a large part of the work for her. Technically it’s solid if not spectacular, and there are a couple of moments where she briefly seems to lose her footing and one where a spin goes awry. Although she recovers pretty quickly and doesn’t let it stop the flow, you can see in her face that she’s not happy with the mistakes. 

Shirley says she can see that ‘mama’ loves salsa and even though there were mistakes, she shouldn’t get too down about it as she’s a great dancer. Bruno says salsa is very complicated but needs to look spontaneous, and apart from a little mishap, it was excellent. Craig says it would have been nice to have more hip rotation in the forward and back basic but she’s a comfortable and confident dancer.  Motsi praises her for handling the speed and being ‘cheeky, chilli and hot’. Someone needs to work on their alliteration.

In the Clauditorium, Michelle says she banged heads with Giovanni in a spin and seems a bit deflated. Scores: 7, 8, 8, 8 for a total of 31.

Claudia attempts to get everyone to say ‘Paradise’ as a punchline about Karim and Amy dancing to a George Ezra song but no-one joins in because no-one cares about George Ezra (except my friend’s five year old daughter and even then she wouldn’t be able to tell you his name, she just tells Alexa to play the alligator song).

Will and Janette

Will’s struggling with the foxtrot because of his disability and hopes it'll be OK but isn't convinced.  This is not a happy VT, maybe they should have made it a comedy one.

They’re dancing to 'Senorita' (the Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello one, not Justin Timberlake) and this is such a stupid foxtrot choice because the Latin rhythm really doesn’t suit foxtrot technique.  What it does suit is Janette doing her damndest to hide Will’s shortcomings by Latin Sensation-ing all over the place, whilst he stomps around trying to keep his frame. It does highlight that the producers maybe should have thought more carefully about which dances to assign him given his disability, but despite it not suiting him, he doesn’t fall to pieces and it’s one of those rare occasions where you can feel a bit more sympathy for the reasons why the female pro has to showboat around a weak male celeb.

Bruno praises him for keeping it going and working hard on maintaining his frame. Craig says his face dropped whenever he got into hold because it seemed as though he lost the will to live. I mean I know Janette can be a bit annoying, but that’s harsh. However, he praises Will’s frame. Motsi says he has great partnering skills and you could see the work that he’s put into his upper body. Shirley praises his posture and frame and could see he’d repeated it plenty and didn’t make mistakes.
In the Clauditorium, Claudia says he looks sad and he seems a bit hard on himself. Janette says he’s the hardest working person she’s met on the show.

Scores: 6, 6, 6, 6 for a total of 24.

Another preview, which reveals that Karim’s ‘Welsh’ accent sounds like Aleksandr Meerkat. 

Mike and Katya

I know these two are probably here until BLACKPOOL but I’m finding it hard to get much out of their partnership – I suspect a lot of it might be because Mike has a lot of competition in the normal bloke category and Chris and David are more endearing, alongside Katya being, well, Katya. In their VT he struggles with confidence, she believes in him, yada yada zzzzzzzzz. 

They’re dancing a quickstep to ‘Come On Eileen’ which I ruddy HATE. It was number one when my little brother was born so maybe my loathing is borne out of repressed traumatic memory at being usurped but I think it’s mostly its use at endless wedding discos. The fact that the tempo changes so much also doesn’t make it a great choice for, well, any dance, and it doesn’t work as a quickstep at all, because it’s too slow to start with, then the very slow bit has an annoying football-stand waving routine, then they do star jumps at the super-fast bit? It’s an unholy mess, though the song is mostly at fault. Mike looks fine in all black and Katya looks nice in a 60s-esque black and white dress – but the mod styling makes no sense with a 1980s’ track. Mike manages OK with the routine, although they appear to both be chatting throughout which is distracting, and, like David’s quickstep, it gets a bit running around the room in places. To be fair, I think what he’s doing is the least of my problems with it. Then they collapse against a fish and chip van (?) and Katya falls on the floor and cries uncontrollably (???). I watched this twice and none of it made any more sense the second time either. [This dance was definitely one of those "wow, I'm glad I'm not recapping this week" moments. My condolences to you. - Steve]

Craig says he managed OK but there were some weird comedy moments – however, he’s come into his own. Motsi liked the mixture of slow and quick moments and thinks they’ll be getting great scores tonight (?). Shirley thinks it was sophisticated (??) and likes his chasses and Katya is bawling her eyes out, like properly heavy sobbing. And Bruno says it’s a night of miracles and ‘now I can see Magic Mike.'

In the Clauditorium, Katya is a mess and Claudia hugs her. Scores: 7, 9 (?!?!?), 8, 8 for a total of 32 and Claudia calls it an ‘extraordinary’ score. And how. Is anyone else as confused as me? [YES - Steve]

Saffron and AJ

In the latest in making us all feel old moments, Saffron talks about how she watched YouTube when she was a child. I was in my mid-twenties when the damn thing was INVENTED, Saf, stop it. Also, she loves her grandparents, but especially one nan, and Saffron tells said nan they’re dancing to ‘Because You Loved Me’ and her nan cries, and then Saffron cries because she doesn’t want her nan to ever die. And based on the training footage there might be even more reason for tears coming up – and not in the Ashley Roberts ‘that was so moving’ way.

Clearly not one to let the trainwreck that was his last attempt at contemporary bother him, AJ’s gone back for more of the same – chest out, billowy clothes (reminiscent of Torvill and Dean’s Bolero outfits), bare feet, and so much dry ice that not only is the footwork hidden, so are they half the time – which might be a genius move, come to think of it. Saffron actually does OK- she’s got nice lines and seems more comfortable than she has in many other routines – it’s AJ who biffs a cartwheel and has some dodgy footwork. It isn’t the most exciting routine, and does fall into the contempowaft trap of feeling a bit GCSE Performing Arts, but it seemed a lot better than the training footage suggested it might be and it was a step up from Lauren’s routine. It wasn’t enough to convince me that this is a genre AJ should keep returning to in Couple’s Choice, however. Then it ends and Saffron cries and hugs her nan and AJ hugs who I think is Saffron’s dad? If I was Saffron’s other nan I’d be either miffed or planning my own emotional VT salvo for later in the series.

Motsi says she’s proud of Saffron for showing vulnerability and having real strength in her body. Shirley says you can see that she put herself into the dance and it really worked. Bruno says they were finely tuned to each other and every expression matched. Craig says they could have gone further – the basic structure was there but they could have gone more over the top in places – he loved her arabesque leap though and she should be proud.

In the Clauditorium I notice AJ is wearing an ugly pendant and Saffron says she didn’t watch the VT or she would have cried. Love, Katya just wept buckets over ruddy Come on Eileen, you’ve got nothing to worry about following that. Scores: 7, 8, 9, 9 for a total of 34.

Saffron is still trying to get her breath so Claudia makes her read out the voting info. Who said these YouTubers have no work ethic?

Karim and Amy

Apparently he needs to challenge himself by becoming ‘Mr Serious, Mr Tango’ and he’s a bit disappointed at his scores last week. You’d think this opening was cause for an acting coach VT, but instead it’s time for more BABY WARZ as he goes to see his sister and his cute nephews. And also his sister’s partner but he doesn’t count, he isn't even mentioned.

They’re dancing their tango to ‘Paradise’ which seems a bit of a sunny song for this dance – the verses work, but the chorus is a little fast and cheerful. His ‘serious face’ has strayed into the territory of ‘had too many chillies and regretting it’ but his technique remains strong. They’ve also slicked back his hair and given him a pencil moustache which reads a bit too sitcom waiter for me, especially coupled with a waistcoat, but it might work for some. [Yeah, it was an odd look, I thought. - Steve]

Shirley calls him inspiring and coping well with the speed of the song. Bruno praises the ‘power, passion, precision’ and, err, ‘enthusiasm’ and Craig says it’s the first time we’re seeing a male celebrity lead. What, ever? This series? Tonight? Karim’s very happy with this, regardless. Motsi calls it the best dance of the evening. Now guys. We’re four weeks into the realm of Motsi and what do we all think? I really like her personality and energy but I’m finding a lot of her comments a bit lacking in detail – especially given she has a dance background and has been judging this show in Germany for years. Don’t get me wrong, it took Darcey an eternity to say anything other than 'core' and ‘the boys are right’ so I’m not writing her off by any means, I just wish she’d give me some more substance at times. [I like her a lot, and "that's my sister, stop it" after Kelvin and Oti's rumba was my highlight of the series, but I do know what you mean, I'd like a few more specifics from her. - Steve]

In the Clauditorium, Johannes is wearing a Wham ‘Choose LIFE’ T-shirt, Karim’s exhausted and Amy’s still ill and sounds TERRIBLE. Someone send this woman home with a pack of night nurse and a hot water bottle. Scores: 9, 10, 9, 10 for a total of 38, keeping him up there with Kelvin as our two ringers-most-likely.

After the complete mental-ness that was tonight’s judging, where’s our leaderboard at?

1. Karim and Amy - 38
2. Kelvin and Oti - 36
3. Emma and Anton - 35
4. Saffron and AJ - 33
5. Mike and Katya - 32
6. Michelle and Giovanni - 31
7. Catherine and Johannes - 30
8=. David and Nadiya - 28
8=. Emma and Aljaž - 28
10. Dev and Dianne - 27
11. Chris and Karen - 26
12. Will and Janette - 24
13. Alex and Neil - 23

We’re at the stage where the entire first screen was couples in the 30s – and it’s not that I think that’s abnormally high for week 4, it’s that it’s abnormally high for most of those dances. The weird leaderboard also means there’s a good chance David will escape the dance-off. I can’t see his public vote being lower than Emma W’s, for instance, and tonight could well be her first dance-off. It’s also the first real test for Dev, Chris, Will and Alex and I wouldn’t be shocked if any of them were down there. [Also, I just genuinely can't see Alex's tango being the worst dance of the night by any metric. This leaderboard is just so screwy. - Steve]

The vote opens to ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go Go’ and Johannes’ T-shirt choice becomes more understandable – and lots of other people are wearing them, and I can see that they actually say ‘Choose DANCE’ on them. Also Andrew Ridgeley has an autobiography coming out this Christmas so he missed a good opportunity to plug that.

Will David indeed escape the dance-off? Whose public vote is through the floor? Will Dance Debrief shed any more light on the judges’ scoring choices? Join me tomorrow to see!

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