This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

Monday

- Someone needs to tell Rylan it's series 17, not 16.  Unless he means of It Takes Two, of course.
- James is very good at forgetting things.
- Luba planned the whole jive with the aim of making James smile.
- It took James 10 years to go from starting rowing to winning a race.
- Luba thinks her lasting legacy in James's life will be his memory of her saying "shoulders down".
- James is pleased to never have to dance again, because now he has the official excuse of not being able to dance.
- James has learned that dancing isn't just about getting the steps right but about moving to music and working with your partner.
- Kevin already appears to be weary of Anneka. 
- The samba makes Johannes very sweaty.
- Catherine has been finding glitter in the most unusual places.
- Janette has now also started saying "Strictly klaxon! Woop woop!"
- Flavia thinks David at least tried to have a paso face even if nothing else worked.
- The great thing about Karim is his fingers.
- In Latin, your hips and shoulders should not be in line with each other.
- In ballroom 'wall' refers to the direction you're dancing in.
- Flavia thinks the samba and salsa aren't really similar.  Except on this show.
- The opening steps of Catherine's samba were indeed quite salsa-y, according to Flavia.
- Rylan is after a bit of Lindy on the side.  No-one tell Dan.
- Don't dance in skinny jeans if you want to take focus away from your shoddy footwork.
- Ask The Pros is back!
- This year they want landscape, not portrait, videos from the viewers, the contrary so and sos.
- Anton is excited for the opportunity to dance more ballroom with Emma.
- Emma preferred being in the middle in the running order, because it meant she got to enjoy the rest of the show.
- Emma's dress rehearsal was 10 times better than her performance on the night.
- Emma wonders if she might need to calm down a bit re: her general movie week excitement.
- Emma's 'celeb' fans are Hayley Tammadon and Emily Atack.  And she has to share Emily with Chris.
- Anton will be wearing tight velvet on Saturday haha marvellous.
- Kelvin's left hand drifts a bit.
- Alex had a lot of heel leads in her cha cha cha, which is not good.
- Flavia thinks Mike and Katya doing a comedy routine was fair enough because a regular American Smooth was never going to suit him.
- Emma B needs more flexibility.  Tell that to whoever sorts out her schedule.
- Chris thinks kids who can just knock out a load of cartwheels deserve more credit.
- Chris was thinking about throwing a chair at the mirror in training but asked the price to replace it and decided against it.
- Karen remains haunted by the number 25.
- Karen is trying to turn Chris into Fred Astaire for their American smooth.
- Chris and Karen will be doing an American smooth to 'Cheek To Cheek' from Top Hat.
- Karen's advice to Chris is to be kind to himself.

Tuesday

- Nadiya blames the cape for the caping problems.
- David would have liked to have gone topless for his paso.
- 'Bychkova the worst' is a bit cruel, caption writers.
- David thinks the judges 'are, or have been' at the top of their field.  Answers on a postcard about which field Bruno's been at the top of please.
- David would like more specific feedback please.
- David always wanted a 10 on Strictly, he just hoped to get it from one individual judge.
- David and Nadiya will be doing an American smooth to 'Kiss From A Rose'.
- Catherine and Johannes will be doing a rumba to 'Shallow'.
- Michelle and Giovanni will be doing a quickstep to 'Cabaret'.
- Karim and Amy are doing a samba to 'Kung Fu Fighting'.
- Michelle can't focus on the good stuff that's already happened because she's a Virgo.
- The way Giovanni coded 'Michelle's hard work' in a stream of babble to soften the blow  was quite something.
- All of Michelle's gay friends are in love with Giovanni.
- Giovanni really wants to be a drag queen, so Michelle's made him a deal - if he makes her a dancer, she'll make him a drag queen.
- Katya wanted Mike to spin her around faster.
- Mike and Katya will be doing a cha cha cha to 'It's Raining Men'.
- Mike professes to have not seen the film 'Magic Mike' (fair enough) but also to not even be aware of the entire Magic Mike franchise phenomenon (not buying it sorry).
- There was a Jason Gilkison interview that basically amounted to five minutes of "how are you so amazing Jason Gilkison?" so we glazed over and didn't learn anything sorry.
- Mary Poppins Returns was the first film Kelvin took his daughter to see at the pictures.
- Kelvin and Oti have names for each day of the week, e.g. Tricky Tuesdays, Weird Wednesdays and Threatening Thursdays (because Oti), all leading up to Sensational Saturdays.

Wednesday

- Even though Rylan is the co-host now, Gethin is still the one they call when Zoe's sick.

- Neil prefers Alex's left leg to her right one because it's weaker and needs TLC. Oh, he's one of those, I see.

- Neil was shouting "beans on toast" at Alex during their cha cha cha because that's what they're calling the chasse now.

- In Alex's Moana-themed rumba, Neil will be playing the role of "the sea".
- They're going to have seven rumba walks in their routine.
- Alex likes buses.
- Chris keeps stopping in training to look in awe at Karen.
- AJ and Saffron have a Hunger Games themed paso.  Gotta thin that field down from fourteen somehow, eh?

- Ian used to have a satin dressing gown with a dragon on the back.
- Karim isn't using his hips enough.
- Anneka is doing a Kill Bill charleston!!??!!?
- David's hold is rubbish but Ian will give him the benefit of the doubt because he's learning the steps.  Although isn't that the point of training?

- Dev is worried that he'll sweat off his blue body paint in this week's dance.

- Dianne is going to be Abu in hers and Dev's Aladdin-themed dance

- Jason Gilkison is the head judge on Dancing With The Stars: South Africa as well as the creative director, which doesn't sound like a conflict of interest at all.

- Johannes' most recent partner on DWTS: SA had such big feet that she had to have her shoes custom made.

- Ian would describe the Viscountess as "willowy".
- Will gives Craig some extra hip action after the dance has finished.
- Janette and Will shout out the names of people they want to boink to help them get the hips right.
- The secret to lifts is showing the celeb you trust them.

- Janette will be playing Pikachu in hers and Will's Pokémon-themed paso.

- You can't say "piss Pikachu off" on BBC1 just before 6pm.

Thursday

- This show doesn't know what to do with a joke about dusty VHS cassettes discovered under Gethin's bed and that's a real shame.

- Catherine smashed her samba in the dress rehearsal.

- Gethin doesn't know the difference between a salsa and a samba.

- Catherine was expecting twos and threes, so anything higher than that is a result for her.

- The rumba is Catherine's favourite dance so far.

- Johannes has been putting toilet paper under Catherine's feet in training to make sure she maintains contact with the floor in the rumba.

- Catherine left her STRICTLY KLAXON behind in the green room last week.
- It took three people to put crystals on Anneka's dress.
- Vicky Gill wants us to see 'a lot of leg caught in the fringe' during Michelle's dress.  Sabotage!

- Unusually, Saffron and AJ's costumes this weekend will be made out of non-stretch material.

- Saffron thinks she's picking things up quicker now.
- AJ has 'AJ' tattooed on his arm which probably isn't new but we didn't spot it before, and now we want to know why - is it in case he forgets who he is?

- AJ took Saffron to archery to learn...intense...eye contact? Sure, why not.

- Saffron has discovered that she is very motivated by getting lower scores.
- All that faff about portrait vs landscape mode and the show cropped people's home video footage into a square shape so it probably didn't matter in the end.

- If they could only do one dance for the rest of their lives, Nancy would do rumba, Johannes would do samba, Aljaž would do foxtrot, and AJ would do the paso doble.

- AJ would like there to be a food theme week, and Aljaž would like a Slovenian music week.

- Johannes and Nancy prefer cats, AJ prefers dogs, and Aljaž just loves the whole safari.
- AJ wants to make AJ LOVE FOOD happen.
- Nancy is a picky eater and loves 'chili cha cha cha' whatever that is.

- Graziano had a dog called Willy.
- Graziano's It Takes Who portrait looks like Jack Sparrow.

- You don't throw newspapers in Russia because it's minus 30 and they freeze.

- Anton was fired from his paper round because it was snowing one day and he couldn't be arsed.

- Aljaž and the Viscountess have started subconsciously dressing alike.

- Aljaž reckons that at least half of the views for the Viscountess's tango on YouTube came from him.

- The Viscountess and Aljaž both find the Downton Abbey theme tune so moving, what a pair of saps.

Friday

- When Gethin is being Zoe, Joe Sugg gets to be Gethin.

- Rylan's Motsi impression is really coming on.
- Karim is usually in a dress or hot dog costume on CBBC.

- Karim misses ballroom so much that he literally begs for a bit of foxtrot during his samba rehearsals.

- Karim actually messed up the end of his foxtrot and he and Amy sort of improvised it. Amy was convinced the judges would notice but they didn't.

- Karim has got quite skinny legs, bless him.
- There was a lot of animal print among the studio audience.
- Mike and Katya's routine will involve drops of water and confetti at the end.

- Janette's Pikachu impression needs work, but not as much as Will's Ash Ketchum impression.

- Movie Week is Friday panellist Gaby Roslin's favourite week.

- Gaby is in love with Michelle.

- Friday panellist Love Island's Amber Gill wants Alex to bring more sass.
- Alex and Neil have inherited the haunted antler training room.
- Gaby Roslin won't stand for anyone insulting Anton.

- Friday panellist Rufus Hound met his wife in a pub talking about Strictly.

- Strictly's aerial technician Jared Doughty thinks Ann Widdecombe and Russell Grant were "a lot of fun to work with", but there's no accounting for taste is there?
- The way to cope with aerial work is to be relaxed and strong.
- They don't even put the heating on for Gethin.

- It was Anneka's birthday on Friday.

- Anneka learns her routines by lying on the floor and intently watching Kevin's feet.

- Anneka is now a convert to dresses and is going shopping with Rylan.
- Anneka's sons didn't know she was doing the show until they read it in the paper.
- Anneka and Kevin's charleston music has driven them crazy.  We're not surprised.

- The charleston is the dance that Anneka didn't want to do.

- Joe is actually pretty good at Gethin's job, Gethin should be nervous.
- Alex knows her dances from films.

- Rufus still is not a man to use one word where 984 will do.

- All three panellists think David is going home this weekend.