Last week! The biggest SCANDAL to hit this show since
Brendan WUZFIRED! The phrase ‘poor Neil’
took a savage new turn! Oh, and Lee was met
with indifference from the judges as well as the public, and got sent packing,
then didn’t even turn up for the post-mortem on It Takes Two, bye Lee.
Our pre-credits VTs reveal that everybody’s getting tired
and feeling a bit off their game, which bodes well when I have to get through two
hours of this – and given I had to sit through both Venom and First Man this weekend, they’d better entertain me.
Cue credits!
BAN THIS SICK FILTH
Tess and Claudia enter, on the arms of Johannes and
Anton. And just when we thought things had turned a corner in their styling, tonight they’ve
come as an asymmetrical mess. Mostly
Claudia, to be fair, whose otherwise pretty-enough polka-dot dress has one side
with a full blousey sleeve, and the other side is more of a bustier. If either was the style for the whole dress,
it’d be fine, but as it is, it does not look good. Tess’s asymmetrical jumpsuit is better, but
there’s a hideous huge choker that looks like someone executed the 1970s for crimes against taste and hung the remains around Tess's neck shouting 'shame'.
The judges enter, and they’re not necessarily faring much
better, sartorially. Craig’s dark grey
suit is OK, as is Darcey’s blue dress, but Shirley’s traded in wearing chandelier
shrugs for a silvery dress that looks as though someone’s just gone round her
with wrapping paper and sellotaped it so tight she can’t walk, whilst Bruno has
some odd chain arrangement over his pocket.
Tess and Claudia say it’s been a quiet week ‘other than the
odd headline’ and we’re into introducing our couples: Katie and Gorka; Charles
and Karen; Faye and Giovanni; Seann and Katya (who just get the same cheers as
everyone else); Stacey and Kevin; Dr Ranj and Janette; Lauren and AJ; Joe and Dianne;
Kate and Aljaz; Graeme and Oti; Vick and Graziano; Danny and Amy; Ashley and
Pasha. We’ll come onto costumes as we
deal with the dances in turn, but Ashley is wearing a lot of chains round her
chest and better hope Bruno doesn’t come in for a hug. As for theme tune dancing, everyone’s pretty
much keeping up the effort, except Joe, who’s gazing off into the
middle-distance somewhere and only remembers on the last beat where he actually
is please remember to click like and subscribe and hit the little bell ic...eep dancing! [Are you quite sure you're all right - Steve]
Speaking of Joe, he and Dianne are first and Tess promises him
shaking his tiny bottom for all its worth in the cha cha cha. Joe looks like
she’s his embarrassing auntie which is usually the correct response to Tess
well done. The VT focuses on training
footage, and we learn that Joe’s middle name is Graham (or Graeme?) and he has
very stiff hips. They then go to visit
Pasha in the next-door training room to get him to teach Joe because Dianne…
only knows how to choreograph this dance for comedy vicars? Couldn’t be
arsed? Needed her daily fix of
homoeroticism? Anyway, Pasha tells Joe
to forget about the hips and focus on the knees, which fixes the problem,
hurrah.
Joe is, sadly, back in a mum blouse this week – whilst
Dianne seems to have had a light up disco floor turned into her top. The dance is telling the story of two young
pups who ‘just got paid’ (for it is that song which they are dancing to), and
get so excited that they punch a cash machine, which spews out money and they
leave it there. I dunno, it’s a metaphor
for Brexit, probably. Joe has his mouth
gawping open the whole time and the whole thing smacks of dad dancing – and his
skinny frame makes it all look quite jerky and uncomfortable. It’s not entirely a train wreck but I wouldn’t
file it as one of the greats, either.
We welcome the singers: Hayley, Jamie, Andrea and Tommy this
week, so get ready for some more high notes; Dave Arch, and the orchestra.
Shirley says he might need more work on his hips but she
loved his musicality and ‘whopacha’ (?) timing (I tried googling about six
spellings of that and still haven’t landed on the right one) when you go half a
count after the beat, as well as his frame. Bruno calls it quirky, individual and charming but says he becomes so
angular that he looks like a puppet on a string. Craig says it was overplaced, flat-footed and
lacked fluidity, but Joe is very watchable. Darcey says cha cha is HARD FOR MEN but he pulled it off, and she
congratulates ‘Diana’ for doing wonders. I don’t know why Diana has shone down on us from heaven to tell Joe Sugg
how to dance rather than give us the scoop on what she really thinks of
Kate’n’Megan but I guess she never did play to anyone else’s tune.
In the Clauditorium, Joe says ‘I liked that, it was
alright’. No Joe, the received wisdom
(of the last two series) is that CHA CHA IS EVIL AND WRONG. Scores: 5, 7, 7, 7 for a total of 26.
Time to find out who our next potential 2019 star is through
the terms and conditions curtain! It’s
Martin Kemp, who has been doing the reality rounds lately, and is obfuscated by
a huge fog of dry ice. Also, the cast
dance along to ‘Gold’ behind him and AJ and Lauren are dancing better here than
they have done on the show proper so far.
In the death slot? Vick and Graziano. Tess is in the
audience with Vick’s parents, her mum Adi and dad Nigel, who… does look quite
Nigelly, as well as possible future Strictly star George Rainsford aka Ethan in Casualty (I’m sure George is lovely, but Ethan is such a
whiny little shit. And even when he
randomly murdered someone, it was ‘good’ murder so it didn’t count).
In the VT, Vick has decided she’s over her fear of Latin
following last week’s authentic Greek Abba salsa. At least until she has the cha cha. Also her mum loves Diana Ross so she’s
excited to be dancing to a Supremes song.
Their quickstep is to ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’ and the theming
is so over-the-top cutesy – hearts everywhere, bright pink, a chocolate box
heart-shaped tunnel of love carriage. It’s the kind of thing that would work only
with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humour and a huge awareness of camp. Erin or Natalie could make it work; Anton
could pull it off as comedy with a duffer; Kevin could bring a wink to it with
a ringer; #poorneil could probably make it fit with his cheesy personality but
these two have yet to demonstrate much personality, and what we have seen of
them is neither camp nor cutesy, so it just doesn’t fly. [I think Vick's coming over quite well on It Takes Two personality-wise, and my reservations about this theming were driven away when Vick did proper silent movie acting right down the camera, bless her. - Steve] The dancing itself is OK, I guess. It’s nice when they’re in hold doing the
kicks but less interesting when running around the floor. I feel like I’m still waiting for them to
really take off and show us why they (well, Vick especially) were cast, and it
just… isn’t happening. In a year where
we have mega-ringers like Faye and Ashley, being a semi-ringer with little fame
and little personality isn’t enough, even with the amazing hair.
It gets a semi standing ovation for what that’s worth and
her parents give her a thumbs-up, which Tess declares sweet. But when the cameras are on the parents, they
have to approve, don’t they? Unless
they’re Nadiya’s mum, obviously.
Bruno praises her for not stumbling but warns her not to get
too bouncy. Craig says the improvement
from week 1 is vast, and it’s a bit ‘trotty’, but he loved the
choreography. Darcey says there was a lot
of bounce but she loves the energy and the fact that Vick’s been clearly
working on her frame. Shirley praises
Graziano for ‘basic material’, which is a very subtle bit of shade, well done
Shirl.
In the Clauditorium, we’re reminded that Vick is a ballroom
girl and she gets up at 4.30am each day and a crash is a-coming soon. Scores: 7, 7, 7, 8 for a total of 29 and
their highest score so far. Claudia previews Charles dancing in the laundrette and hopes
‘he doesn’t have a tumble by the dryer’ and I was momentarily shocked they’d
allow a joke about THE SEHCS in this week of all weeks but she probably just
meant falling over, didn’t she? [That's how I heard it, yes. - Steve]
Speaking of pairings that are yet to take off, it’s Danny
and Amy. I don’t know who’s to blame for
the fact that he’s not really excelling – him for relying on his existing dance
experience and not trying, or her for being overwhelmed by it and not pushing
him enough in training. Either way, I
can’t help feeling that if he’d been paired with Oti or even (whispers) Katya,
we’d be seeing him consistently in the top three rather than bumping around the
upper-mid region of the board. Unless
they’re planning a stealth ‘journey’ storyline where he has a dance that turns
it all around (I have a feeling they’re the most likely couple to boss
‘couple’s choice’ – at least on paper). [There's definitely something weird going on, isn't there? He's got a lot of bad habits that Amy isn't ironing out, and like you say, I don't know whose fault that is. - Steve]
Tess says Danny was
in the middle of the leaderboard last week (despite the pimp slot and Greatest Showman) and is hoping to get
back into the top, and we see a flashback using the greyed-out filter of
trauma as Danny diplomatically says ‘that was not a good moment’. His next routine is inspired by his hero,
Sammy Davis Jr, so we go to meet his family. Obviously. His daughter thinks he ‘might get 9 from Craig or 10 from Bruno’ and I
love that everyone knows those mean roughly the same thing in Strictly
currency.
Their Viennesse Waltz is to ‘I’ve Gotta Be Me’ and they look
good in a classic suit and ballgown combo. It starts fairly well, with Danny’s performance fitting with the theme
of the music, and their timing being good, but as they get into hold and start
travelling around the floor, something stops gelling and his showbiz smile
turns into more of a grimace, the movement becomes stuttery and his arms start
jerking out and it looks a bit tortured rather than smooth.
Craig says Danny’s hands are too expressive and it looks
like he’s using his frame to dance and it’s a bit too skippy, but he loved the
amount of rotation. Oh and his thumb was
up and we get into a protracted discussion about Craig’s thumby preferences. [Phrasing. - Steve] Darcey says he has nice musicality but it
could be better if he relaxed in the knees especially. Shirley praises him for looking young for 58
and she liked some of his footwork but it wasn’t consistent throughout. Bruno says he’s always a solid performer but
even when he made a mistake going on the wrong foot he covered it. So that would be the thing that went wrong,
then.
Amy is more excited than those comments warranted, but she
does look lovely tonight so maybe it’s that. Scores: 6, 7, 7, 7 for a total of 27.
Our first rumba of the series comes courtesy of Faye and
Giovanni via Tess reminding us that Bruno is here for the dance of sex. In the VT ‘Claire from Steps’ as Faye calls
her (MIAOW) turns up to rehearsal and cries ‘I hate you’ – presumably for being
the Step that got this gig rather than the lower-rate reality shows Claire’s
had.
They’re dancing to 'Chandelier', and props to (I assume)
Andrea because this is NOT a song I expected to be kind on the Strictly
singers, but she handles it well. The
dance opens with a legitimately amazing lighting effect that bathes a shadowy
Faye in sparkles raining down from a chandelier before they drop away and the
dance begins. And we wish she’d remained
in the shadows. Because whilst her top
half looks OK in your average strictly gold tinsel Latin top, her skirt is
seemingly made of strips of that long blue paper towel stuff you get in
catering that Vicky Gill’s minions have shoved in the shredder and stuck to the
bottom of the tinsel. It is a distractingly
bad look – even to the point that Giovanni’s bare chest doesn’t pull
focus. As for the dance itself, some of
the posing is nice, but there are a lot of places where Giovanni isn’t just
‘presenting’ her, but visibly pushing her into position which makes it less
smooth than it could be and the overall result is quite underwhelming.
Darcey praises the chaines and Faye’s emotion, but worries
that Faye lets the emotion rest in her shoulders rather than going into the
rest of the body. Shirley likes the
mixture of highlights and basics but says a lot of it was ‘quite’ nice don’t
think Debbie McGee’s letting go of her inherited queen of salsa crown any time soon. Bruno says he felt it (fnar) and it was like
a goddess making herself available, and he liked some of the figures and turns
although it lost the fluidity in places.
Craig says he’s pleased that Shirley’s getting booed and he missed a
sense of connectivity between them in the movement but Faye is still a
beautiful dancer.
In the Clauditorium, Claudia is impressed that Faye made
Claire from Steps cry. Wasn’t that
essentially the plot of Steps: The Reunion? Scores: 7, 7, 7, 8 for a total of 29. Giovanni says he thinks it was undermarked and he enjoyed it.
Claudia ‘Still to come – Kate dances under the African sun,
or as they call it in Africa, the sun’.
OK, that one was cute.
Speaking of cute, it’s Katie and Gorka! In their VT they visit a burns rehabilitation
centre in Liverpool and Gorka draws round his hand on the centre’s whiteboard
and writes his name very badly, which Katie says will be ‘different’ for the
people there in the manner of a very patient primary school teacher trying to
find some positives to say on parents’ evening.
They are jiving to ‘Why do Fools Fall in Love’ and, well,
girl ain’t ever going to be much of a dancer, and she’s out of time, but she at
least gives everything a good go. Their pastel-turquoise 50s Americana costumes
(Gorka in specs and a cardigan looking agorkable) are twee enough to match the
cutesy routine and it certainly feels a more natural fit for her
performance-wise than the paso.
Shirley says she’s on a nice track and she wants her to work
on timing for ‘next week’. Bruno calls
them ‘Beauty and the Geek’ and Gorka, mock hurt says ‘I’m not a geek, I’m
smart’ and whilst it’s cute, does anyone want to explain to him what the
geek stereotype actually is? [I don't think geeks have to be smart - if they're smart, they're more likely to be nerds. - Steve] Bruno says timing is important and Craig
agrees. Darcey says it was so endearing,
cute, nice, sweet - you’re just missing adorable for a full house, Darce.
In the Clauditorium, Gorka offers Claudia his flower [PHRASING - Steve] and
wibbles ‘I love you’. It’s always the
unlikeliest paces where you find showmance, isn’t it? Scores: 3, 5, 5, 5 for a
total of 18.
We then feature a preview of the remaining couples in which
they all recount the torture of waiting for the results and knowing either you
or one of your friends is going. Save
the downer talk for Sundays, people, where’s your ‘I wanna get to
HALLOWEEN/BLACKPOOL/THAT COUPLE’S CHOICE NONSENSE’ spirit?
Charles and Karen now, and their dance is set in a
launderette (because he was in EastEnders once?
Who knows) which is the cue for Tess’n’Claud to give us a few laundry
puns and end with ‘have we done enough?’ ‘we’ve done a load’ which I actually
smiled at. Charles and Karen meet in a
launderette because Kevin got the washing machine along with Shirley after
the split to mope about being in the dance-off last week and get into
theme, but as this doesn’t involve Charles doing a Nick Kamen, there’s nothing
to see here so we end up in the training room where Charles wears some very odd
Black-Panther-print lycra tops.
They’re dancing to ‘Use it Up and Wear it Out’ and Karen
seems to have come straight out of the same 1950s American pastel wonderland as
Katie and Gorka in her lemony shorts and top. It’s a nice look but a bit much coming straight off the back of another
similarly styled routine. The dance is
ostensibly a salsa but looks very samba-y in places as well as a bit of disco
and hip-hop being thrown in the mix. When I first watched it, I was quite taken with its energy and sense of
fun, but on a rewatch, Karen is basically doing everything. This is most evident in the lifts as, whilst
a couple of them are quite impressive, one goes a bit wrong and this is
entirely due to Karen not quite mastering gravity as she tries to hook her legs
round Charles’ neck – whilst Charles just stands there. It’s your standard Janette Manrara distraction
salsa technique, but Karen isn’t quite as enthusiastically gung-ho as
Janette. Other than that, the routine
works well with the music, and Charles has decent enough rhythm, but he never
seems to quite let himself go so it feels a bit stiff and reserved rather than
something that’s going to get him clearly out of danger.
Bruno praises the energy and points out the disco feel but
says it could have done with more in the hips. Craig says there was a lot going
on and he can see that Charles can do forward and basic with his hips but it
wasn’t always happening, although he still loved it. Darcey says he has natural
rhythm (drink) but he has a large man and leads to contain this power more to
get a good figure of eight. Shirley loved him throwing his pelvis at us but
says the way he changes his way between the seeds doesn’t work as effectively
to allow him to get a good sense of rotation - however, he is consistent.
In the Clauditorium, Karen complains about her inner thighs
and thanks Trent (did she say
Trent? THE Trent?) for helping
choreograph it. Scores: six, six, six,
seven for a total of 25, keeping them in their eternal Groundhog Day. Karen
says she’s not sure anyone in the history of the show has got 25 four times in
a row (although Ashley Taylor Dawson did get 35 five times in a row), but at
least it shows consistency.
Lauren and AJ now, and since Lee and Nadiya have departed,
these have become the contestants I’m most likely to forget. Like several of
the couples this year, I’m still waiting for them to take off as a partnership.
Their VT features Lauren challenging AJ to a triathlon, which he obviously
loses even though I suspect they weren’t putting in the full amount of lengths
in any of the disciplines which I feel is a shameful lack of commitment to the
comedy VT.
They are dancing the quickstep to ‘If You’re Over Me’ which
is a nice change from the small number of songs they usually trot out to this dance. AJ is in bright red, with a flowery shirt that looks like the kind of
thing they usually style Joe in, whilst Lauren is in a red, orange and pink
dress-it’s all a bit garish but I’ve seen much worse. I’ve also seen worse
dancing, but that’s about as good as it gets - her footwork isn’t particularly
polished and at times you can see her overthinking the moves, plus there are
some gapping issues here and there and they go out of step with each other a
few times.
Craig says there were some mistakes in there, but it had the
most energy he's seen from her so far. Darcey says there was some beautiful work
and it was a shame that they came out of sync twice but there is a real
difference in her confidence and performance. Shirley repeats the same thing as Craig and Darcey says that despite the
mistakes, she can do it.
In the Clauditorium, we learned that this is the first dance
Lauren has actually liked. Scores: 6, 6, 6, 7 for a total of 25. It’s all
feeling very middle-of-the-road tonight, isn’t it?
Time for a halfway leaderboard?
1=. Vick and Graziano - 29
1=. Faye and Giovanni - 29
3. Danny and Amy - 27
4. Joe and Dianne - 26
5=. Charles and Karen - 25
5=. Lauren and AJ - 25
7. Katie and Gorka - 18
Wow, Katie and Gorka aside, that is some leaderboard pileup
right there. Let’s see whether or not
the second half shakes that up a bit, shall we?
The next couple are Dr Ranj and Janette. He takes her to the
Children’s Hospital to meet some cute patients and little girl patient gives
him a very earnest tip ‘to practice. A lot’. In their training VT, Janette says
you have to be serious to do the Paso which will be a change of personality for Ranj. I’m not sure seriousness and pasos on this show have ever gone
together, personally.
They are dancing to ‘Cancion del Mariachi’ and Ranj’s purple
and black matador suit is camp, even for this show. The dance itself also has a
good amount of camp to it - at least in his expressions. Technique-wise, it seems a little bit
under-committed in the movements and undefined, but it’s OK. Like most other things tonight.
Darcey says she likes seeing the fierceness but he could do
with work on his Spanish lines, his pelvis and his back. Shirley praises some
beautiful basic elements, Bruno says he really sold it to him, but he needs to
pull out of his hips and keep his shoulders down to give real depth to the
movement. Craig says it felt like he was being placed rather than dancing and
he could see the placement too obviously, but it was still well done overall.
In the Clauditorium, we learn that Ranj has found an ab and
he’s looking for five more. Didn't one of the other celebs make that joke last week? Scores: six, seven, seven, seven for a total of 27.
Kate and Aljaž are next and their bright blue outfits aren’t
screaming sex to me, what have they done? Their VT tells us that Kate loves the
song ‘Africa’ because she’s been to Africa lots of times and we see some of her
charity work including a photo of her where she looks exactly like Natasha
Kaplinsky and some training footage where she can’t do samba roles.
So, here’s the thing.
I suspect either Aljaž has a hate-on for the Samba to rival Anton’s, or
we need to stage an intervention. Much like with Gemma last year, has chosen a
tune that is far too slow, even if it does have the right kind of rhythm, and
the dance just doesn’t work. The singers
don’t seem to be getting on with it very well, either. He and the stylists between
them have also neglected the USP of this pairing, which is raw sexual
energy. Kate’s hair isn’t even styled
very well. The whole thing ends up
being plodding, forced and awkward and I love this pair so much and I’m so sad
that this routine Was. Not. Good. Give
them an Argentine Tango or a Rumba, stat.
Shirley says she loves Kate's personality, but the balance of
her feet is wrong so she ends up clunking by putting her heels forward while
her weight is back. Bruno says she always looked glamorous and got stuck a few
times and he could see her fighting the dance rather than having a natural
rhythm. Craig says he thinks the dance belonged behind the news desk but I’m
not sure what he means by that, maybe that the legs would be hidden? Darcey said she could see the party mood in
spite of all African moves but she can see in Kate’s face that she was trying
to achieve things she couldn’t and she felt much more uncomfortable than in the
other dances. Aljaž loved it, of
course. Aljaž. Step away from the samba for the love of god.
In the Clauditorium, Katie says she knew it wasn’t her best
and she struggles with it all week although she had done it better in some
rehearsals. Aljaž is still excited that he has become an uncle. What will it be like
if he ever becomes a dad? Scores: four, five, five, six for a total of 20. OUCH. Kate starts crying. Don’t cry, Kate! We still love you!
Graeme and Oti next, and they are wearing silver foil astronaut
suits, I kid you not. Tess and Claudia cue us up with a gag: they are dancing
somewhere ‘craggy and lifeless and devoid of atmosphere.’ ‘Craig’s face?’ I’m
not always here for easy Craig gags but that did make me chuckle, sorry Craig.
Graeme says last week was one of the highlights of his life,
getting eights (with the subtext of he doesn’t expect to get them again). In
training, we see him trying to talk too much and Oti shouting at him, which is
probably how their training goes most of the time, I expect. We also see Joe
saying if Graeme was his dad, he'd be the coolest dad in the world. Poor
Joe’s actual dad.
Their jive is to ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and is easily a far more
entertaining take on the moon landings than First
Man (which is just the film for you if you like lots of shots of people
flicking switches. For two and a half
hours.). They are wearing foil suits that seem to be too cumbersome for
dancing, but wouldn't you know it? They’re removable! Instead we get Graeme in bright pink
top and trousers, and Oti in a pink and blue dress. He has never looked more
of a dad than he does here, which is impressive given his previous form. It’s your standard sportsman jive - all exaggerated faces, pointing at the air, Travolta-style, and looking like
it’s been danced under the influence of several pints. It isn’t without
merit - his timing is reasonable, it’s got good energy and there is some
recognisable jive content in it - and it ends with a floor dive because of course
it does.
Bruno welcomes him to his world: that of the space cadet. He
compliments Graeme not missing a beat although he is a bit flat-footed at
times. Craig says he uses his showmanship to win over the public but clearly
was lacking in the jive technique. Darcey says performance was good but she
would have liked much sharper kicks and more consistency in his framing and use
of arms. Shirley says she rather liked it and thought he made good attempts at
dropping his way to the right places and she can see his larger-than-life
personality coming through.
In the Clauditorium, we get introduced to Graeme’s parents
who look suitably embarrassed to be on camera, bless them, and learn that
Graham told Oti he was really frightened before the start of the dance. Scores: five, seven, seven, seven for a total
of 26. Mm-hmmmmm. (How does a solid 6 not get a single 6 from the
judges?)
If anyone can save tonight from this barrage of underwhelm,
surely it’s Ashley and Pasha? Their VT tries to get us to believe that Ashley
finds the tango hard (‘tango? More like Shango’?!!?), and so to help her they…
FaceTime Janette and Ranj? The best bit
is when Janette pulls a ‘you’re seriously a) pretending you have a problem and
b) coming to ME of all people?’ face and says ‘you’ll be fine, you’re a great
dancer’. Apparently, this doesn’t do the
trick. Gee, I wonder why? Given the theme of a lot of these VTs has been people
going to get advice and support, I can’t wait to see what they’ve arranged for Seann
and Katya. A special guest appearance from Ben'n'Kristina?
Ashley and Pasha are dancing the Tango to ‘Look What You
Made Me Do’, which, surely, would have been more amusing given to Seann and
Katya. It’s set on a chess board and, on It Takes Two, Pasha said the storyline
was him being a pawn that tries to be the Queen, although I’m not sure what
piece Ashley is meant to represent. Aside from her top with weird chain boobs,
she looks okay in red and she certainly has a good go at pulling a mean Tango
face. Ashley’s make up looks good - heavy black eyeliner and red lipstick, but
Pasha is wearing eyeliner and it's terrible - probably because there’s not
enough for it to be truly noticeable and so it just makes his face look strange. Poor Pasha’s face. As for the dancing itself, whilst there is clearly
a higher level of skill here than in pretty much every other routine tonight,
it’s still not as strong as I was expecting. The energy and timing are good, her
high kicks are great, but other than that, there is a lack of precision in a
lot of her leg work and her frame is a bit hunched. I can’t see them doing
anything other than topping the leaderboard with it, but I wanted more.
Craig praises the staccato and amount of content and says he
wasn’t sure about Pasha putting in some Argentine Tango moves, although by the end
he decided he approved of it. Darcey says she’s putting her energy too much
into the shoulders and her shoulders end up too close to her ears. Shirley says
you can’t mistake her ability but the body wasn’t right. Bruno calls it
powerful and theatrical and liked the back-and-forth between them.
In the Clauditorium, we learn that Ashley and Pasha have a
special lunch dance. Bless. Scores: eight, eight, eight, eight for a
total of 32.
So now we come to Seann and Katya. I thought for a moment
they might be leaving them for the pimp slot, which would be an X Factor level
of ramping up the drama - personally, I would probably have bunged them on second
and got it out of the way. There are no jokes about them, just a comment that
they’ve had a difficult week. Their VT tells us that Saturday was great…
Because they got good scores, obviously. Other than that, we see them learning the
Charleston from Jenny Thomas, one of the show’s Charleston experts who usually
remain invisible, so I guess that’s quite nice to see. In case you were
worrying that they weren’t repentant, though, don’t worry - they are wearing
black throughout the VT. I’m not sure whether avoiding the scandal together was
a more sensible move than trying to do a full on mea culpa - I understand why
the show did it, to avoid distraction from the other dances, but then leaving
these two til late almost suggested they were leaving the audience waiting
deliberately. Anyway, as there’s nothing
to say about the scandal, let’s move to the dance, shall we?
It’s to ‘Bills’ and set in a pizza restaurant, with them
both wearing red and white stripes. She is a harassed waitress, he is a
terrible chef. The dance has a good sense of humour and energy as you would hope
from a comedian, but it’s quite sloppy in places - his swivel is barely evident
and looks very forced and stiff - although there are a couple of good lifts in
there (and a pretty ropey one at the end where they get stuck and don’t
know what to do to get out of it). His hands are a god-awful mess as well.
Tess praises the lifts for being brave, as does Darcey, but
Darcey says there were some clumsy moments in there and it still needs clarity
as a dance. Shirley says Katya's choreography and routine were outstanding - we know
that that had nothing to do with Katya, Shirley, we just watched a VT about
it. Shirley thought the routine was entertaining and gravity-defying but she spotted
some moments where Seann missed things. Bruno says they threw everything at it
except the kitchen sink, even the oven. He says it was manic and it kind of
looked like a Charleston but it was a bit gangly, especially in the finish.
Craig praises Jenny [I believe he said "Jackie", lol Craig - Steve] the choreographer and says he really enjoyed the lifts. The
audience cheer for them and I’d love to have seen the warmup where
they were (presumably) told in no uncertain terms not to boo.
In the Clauditorium, we learn that Seann struggles to
breathe when he is dancing and they both thank Jenny for choreographing the routine.
Scores: six, seven, eight, seven for a total of 28.
In the pimp slot, it’s Kevin and Stacey and I wonder if this
is the show’s response to me saying last week that if they put Grimsby
landmarks in the light projections, I would laugh so much I wouldn’t be able to recap.
Tess promises that their VT will see them on a road trip to
Grimsby, so we see them travelling the country, visiting London, Birmingham,
Manchester and Northampton (the glamour). LIARS. Kevin says the routine is
based on them having a road trip and then breaking down in Grimsby. Literally the only place Grimsby is en route
to is Cleethorpes. It’s also absolutely nowhere
near any of the places they visited. And
as if this VT wasn’t showing enough deference to the principles of cinema
verité, the very SCANDAL of the dance set – I will just about forgive the lush
green fields and flowers projected on the set as they could perhaps have come
in via Great Coates rather than the flyover near the docks, but the ‘welcome to
Grimsby sign’ is fake news. As Kevin
well knows, it’s actually Great Grimsby. Be right back, just phoning Ofcom. [I love your devotion to Grimsby-related accuracy. Long may it continue. - Steve] I guess at least they’re in black and white (up the Mariners), even if
Stacey’s long sheer black dress over a white mini dress is bizarre. They’re also in just-about-60s gear so Vicky
Gill’s team have clearly bought some new mid-20th century costume
books this week.
The idea of doing a foxtrot to ‘High Ho Silver Lining’
seemed almost as daft as ‘salsa to Abba’, ‘samba to Toto’ or ‘minion dance’
but, given it’s Kevin, who is pretty much the only current pro who can execute
a super-high-concept routine, it just about works. It’s quite twee but it is danced well, and
has a bit more too it than anything else tonight – could Kevin make yet another
final?
As they come over to the judges, Stacey says that it’s Kevin’s
birthday. Shirley says she likes a bit of Grimsby and she was really impressed
with the opening and thought Stacey had a beautiful stride on her heel then
moving into the toe, toe, flat. She says there was bubble and sparkle and her frame
was really improving. Bruno says she looks like a 60s It Girl, swept away by
the boy from Grimsby. No 60s It Girl was ever swept away by a boy from Grimsby, Bruno, not even by my dad and he was allegedly a bit of a mover back then. Craig says it
wasn’t really a classic foxtrot and leaned more towards the American smooth (and that's a bad thing because...?) but he saw Kevin drop ‘a big old heel’ in to please Shirley Ballas – and overall
he could see what Kevin was doing and loved it. Darcey says it was timeless, elegant and very nice.
They scream their way up to the Clauditorium and Aljaž presents Kevin with a cake emblazoned with a picture of him and Stacey as
Minions. Delicious. Scores: 8, 8, 8, 9 for a total of 33, and
Stacey screams the place down, as Kevin plants his head in the cake, and Aljaž makes a very disappointed little face at the waste, poor love.
Leaderboard time!
1. Stacey and Kevin - 33
2. Ashley and Pasha - 32
3=. Vick and Graziano - 29
3=. Faye and Giovanni - 29
5. Seann and Katya - 28
6=. Danny and Amy - 27
6=. Dr Ranj and Janette - 27
8=. Joe and Dianne - 26
8=. Graeme and Oti - 26
10=. Charles and Karen - 25
10=. Lauren and AJ - 25
12. Kate and Aljaž - 20
13. Katie and Gorka - 18
Wow. With all those
ties, I’d say everyone in the bottom half could be in danger, and possibly also
Ranj and Danny. It’s going to be the
first big test for Kate and Katie especially.
The vote opens as everyone throws balloons around, waves light up whizzy
things and screams all over Claudia’s T&Cs. As do I, because yet another marathon episode is done! I cannot wait until we get down to about 10
couples and hit that sweet spot of shorter, more manageable shows, before
two-dance week. Still, our work here is not yet done for the week as we will need to
return to see which couple is leaving and gawp at an unexpected Backstreet Boys
cameo. Join me then!
No comments:
Post a Comment