Saturday 20 October 2018

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Katie felt "optimistic" before her jive.
- When Gorka first met Katie, she couldn't even walk rhythmically.
- Katie and Gorka had an agreement to talk back to Craig if he insulted her dancing, but then Gorka didn't back Katie up when she actually did it, lol.
- There appeared to be barely any men in the audience on Saturday.
- Vincent thinks the show needs a little Italian housewife.
- When you dance by yourself in salsa, it's called 'shine'.
- Vimcent thinks Lauren can swing but not hop.
- When you gancho yourself, you shouldn't lift your toes off the floor until your thighs are touching.
- If Ashley doesn't listen to Vincent's advice before her Argentine Tango, he will text her to tell her off.
- Graeme is actually foolish enough to say 'sometimes it's good to listen before you speak to Oti' on national TV.  Goodbye Graeme, nice to have known you.
- It was Graeme's idea to be in pink for his jive, because black didn't make for a dramatic enough reveal.
- Graeme went completely blank during Vick & Graziano on Saturday night and Oti had to reteach him the jive from scratch.
- Oti is "quiet and shy".
- Cricketers do well at the tango.
- Dr Ranj now wears a 'Miss Ranjie' T-shirt what a legend.
- Dr Ranj really did rip two pairs of trousers right down the crotch in rehearsals for his paso. He's THAT sexual.
- This week he's doing an American smooth to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice'.
- Charles and Karen would like to get above 25 this week. 25-and-a-half perhaps.
- Neil trying to body pop in tight red trousers and a bow tie is quite something.
- Charles and Karen are doing 'Street Commercial' whatever the fuck that is on Saturday.
- Karen did a lot of hip hop growing up in New York.
- To get hip action when doing a cuban break, you have to push your foot into the floor.
- Vincent would like Danny to 'chillax' because he's still living in the 2000s.
- Vincent doesn't think Vick and Graziano's quickstep respected the PURITY OF DAHNCE enough.
- Vincent would vote for Kate if she danced solo.
- Vincent feels deposed from the throne of eyebrows by Dr Ranj.
- Tunes On Tuesday is a thing again!
- But they've disposed of the jukebox.
- You can heat up tequila and turn it into diamonds, apparently.
- Someone who is not Chloe or even Luba is now the model for the Lisa and Lisa hair and make-up demonstrations.
- Lisa Armstrong is in the 'eye makeup before foundation' club.
- When applying false eyelashes, remember to cut them to the right size first.
- Lauren knew she fucked up in her quickstep but remembered not to show it in her face.
- Lauren's contemporary choreography involves a slow air-grab and will have a lot of lifts.
- Vick's heel got stuck in her dress during the dress rehearsal, and again during the live show. There is a huge hole in the dress she wore.
- Vick would like to clarify to the people on Twitter that her parents were not on a "special holiday".
- Vick is now a Latin girl apparently, and thinks it's like a bad boyfriend you keep coming back to.
- Someone on the show managed to find the ugliest eye mask in the world to buy for Vick.  Perhaps to scare away bad boyfriends.
- Joe would like to be known as "Slavic from Russia" from now on.
- Ian is saddened at the lack of PURITY OF BALLROOM.  It's at least 8 years too late for worrying about that, Ian.
- Hands don't matter in jive.  According to Ian, anyway.
- Katya is more familiar with the works of Bruno Mars than Zoe is.
- Wednesday's show was the first time Seann had seen his Charleston.
- Katya has left a big bruise on Seann's back. *Harry Hill face to camera*
- Seann thought he might not get through last week "because the training had gone so badly". Suuuure.
- Katya and Seann are dancing to Jake Bugg's 'Lightning Bolt' for their quickstep.
- Joe can tune a guitar.
- Joe is one of the few celebs this year who enjoyed the cha cha cha.
- Joe does a good impression of Kermit. His attempts to teach Dianne how to do Miss Piggy...well, a little more practice is needed.
- Joe is still vowing to dye his hair red if he reaches the final.
- Zoe has taken to calling Aljaž "Uncle Aljaž", and is it weird that that's kind of hot?
- Danny doesn't wear socks.  Or if he does, they're those invisible ones that never stay on your feet.
- Amy had no concerns about Danny's age. Because he's a massive ringer.
- Danny and Joe are currently tied third for overall points in the competition, which seems kind of odd.
- Danny's kids are preternaturally talented jivers.
- Seann and Katya are wearing matching training outfits these days, for those keeping watch on "developments".
- Ian used to do street dance as a kid. He was the only boy in the class and he kept going the wrong way.
- Whoever was responsible for designing the portraits of the pros for the It Takes Who? has clearly never actually seen any of them.
- Oti studied civil engineering at university.
- The pros all think everyone except Oti and Pasha is stupid.
- Graziano can make his ears wiggle independently.
- The choreographers for the new dances are telling Vicky Gill and her team how to costume for the dances.  So I assume we can expect revenge on those who don't play ball in training.
- Aljaž was ridiculously excited by the projected animals in their dance on Saturday.
- Aljaž is now bringing his own cue cards.
- Kate is playing a character called Rose in her Viennese waltz.
- Seann and Katya's quickstep looks like it's going to have some kind of London Underground theme.
- Pasha takes everything well. *wink to camera*
- Pasha is diplomatically quiet on whether he thinks their tango was undermarked.
- Ashley has scored more than three different girlband members on some sort of metric that wasn't wholly clear.
- This week's group dance is choreographed by Matt Flint of So You Think You Can Dance sort of fame, and is themed around a sport that is extremely popular in Britain: baseball.  Pasha and Katya are playing warring team captains and Graziano is playing a hot dog seller.  Anton appears to be playing passer-by afraid of being hit/being corralled into joining in.
- Graeme isn't worried about forgetting his routine this week because he's not wearing pink. So there you are.
- This week's Friday panel was Gabrielle, Susan Calman and whatever a Tom Read Wilson is.
- Susan really did get the I <3 GRIMSBY tattoo.
- Charles was in a Gabrielle video once.
- Faye thought her rumba was better than the scores she got.
- Faye squealed so much on Saturday in the bar after the show that she lost her voice.
- Giovanni does a Shirley Ballas impression.
- Giovanni has only ever scored 36 for the foxtrot and will not accept 35 or lower.
- Alfonso Ribiero is going to be a happy judge.
- Dancing With The Stars is "loose" and "fun" compared to Strictly, according to Alfonso, which I think basically means any old shit is allowed.
- Pasha is an expert at the Carlton dance.
- Kevin doesn't know the macarena.
- The birthday cake was not as soft as Kevin expected so he had to really headbutt it to get it on his face.
- The mayor of North East Lincolnshire has a horrible little Dock Tower statue on her desk.
- Stacey and Kevin did one training day that ran from 8am-11pm, and they were there so late they got locked in the training room.
- Stacey would like a Luton-themed dance.
- The pro challenge is coming back!
- Susan loves Kate.
- Tom would do Strictly and would want to be partnered with AJ, Gabrielle absolutely would not.
- Tom thinks Graeme is going home, Gabrielle and Susan wouldn't say.
- Vick keeps losing her shoes.

No comments: