Rice iced baby

Week 3: Top 14 Results - 6 October 2019

Last night! Anneka killed (dance), Karim Kung Fu-ed it up, Dev blue, Kelvin flue and... no-one did a Minions routine so I can't say their score Gru. Anyway, not many routines resembled their genres, and in a few cases they didn't much resemble dance at all. At the end of it all there was a big mid-table tussle that could easily see a shock bottom two - so let's see who the public have decided to cut loose.

Cue credits!  Of all the couples to decide to floss in their background, I wouldn't have bet on Kelvin and Oti.

We open with the pros all sitting in a cinema, no-one next to each other so they all have enough personal space... my ideal way of watching films. They're all pontificating on the power of cinema, which turns into a trip through the movies featuring (deep breath): The Jurassic Park theme tune; Giovanni in a Charlie Chaplin film; Anton and Nadiya in some Fred'n'Ginge-or-Cyd thing, Dianne in the Wizard of Oz; Gorka in Singing in the Rain (can we get a check on if the widow is in tonight?); Aljaž and Janette in West Side Story; Amy and AJ in Titanic; Graziano? and Luba in Mary Poppins (they make her fly and it actually looks good for a change); Neil in something with a plane, I dunno, Dambusters? [Edit: Ruggerlad informs me it was North by Northwest - cheers!] Kevin and Katya in Harry Potter; Nancy in Breakfast at Tiffany's standing and doing nothing like an absolute ICON; Karen and Johannes in  Dirty Dancing; Oti and Graziano in Brief Encounter, and then the shock twist is that Graziano was Rocky all along!

Then we move into more tributes featuring multiple pros: some sort of Black Panther-meets-Spiderman-something I can't identify but is possibly meant to be copyright-free superheroes?; Pirates of the Carribean; The King and I; La La Land; Moulin Rouge; more Charlie Chaplin; The Greatest Showman; Cabaret; The Sound of Music (with Nadiya in a wig that makes her look like a bad Carol Smillie tribute act) [we thought she was genuinely Amanda Holden for a moment - Steve] and there's some dancing in there somewhere. It's A LOT. But I guess quite spectacular in its own way.

Tess and Claudia enter. Dresswatch: Claudia's in a dark grey sparkly thing that's quite nice; Tess in a Morticia Addams-esque black velvet dress with enormous shoulders. Which I guess works for movie week as much as Halloween, so we'll let her off. Then we come onto Shirley'n'Bruno and Motsi'n'Craig, and Shirley's in a glam beaded white frock that looks very film star, Motsi in a striking red satin jumpsuit, Craig in a flowery jacket and Bruno in slightly boring black, but generally these outfits are an upgrade from 'yesterday'. Tess tells us Harry Connick Jr will be performing later - where did they dig him up from?

Interminable recap of yesterday in which the following of note happens: Aljaž tells Hot Greg he's got his timing wrong, everyone eats caramelised popcorn, a lot of time is spent on telling us how good Emma and Aljaž and Catherine and Johannes are if that's a portent of anything, Anneka and Kevin are fairly happy that the performance was actually one of their better attempts at the Charleston, Dev blends into the blue background backstage.

And now for our first set of results. Safe are: Emma and Anton (who shouts 'Yeah Baby', although isn't it supposed to be 'Yeah Baby Yeah'?); Kelvin and Oti; Alex and Neil; Emma and Aljaž. The first couple in the bottom? Anneka and Kevin, who don't look in the least bit surprised. Anneka says she gives no shits as she just feels like she's walked into an exercise class in a Victoria Wood sketch anyway. Shirley says to just enjoy it and then 'it's in the lap of the gods' although I can't see them beating anyone, unless Mike or David have a car crash dance-off, and even then I'd still expect Anneka going.

In the Clauditorium, we have important baby warz updates, as a video of Kelvin dancing with his baby is deployed; thooperfan updates as we learn Emma B sends fan letters to the hair and makeup team; Alex thinks it's a surprise to get through. The second set of results. Against Anneka Rice and David James.

And we're on to the second set of results very speedily indeed, saving Catherine and Johannes; Dev and Dianne; Will and Janette; Karim and Amy... and everyone else will have to wait until later.  Thought that was too good to be true. Craig says he loves theme weeks because it gets them out of their shells (/the rigors of sticking to genres).

Back in the Clauditorium, Dev says it's a surprise to still be here (?!), Catherine has a Charleston to Single Ladies next week and if you were betting that Johannes' face would tell you he's living his best life, then congratulations. Also Will's happy to be here and Karim doesn't get to say anything. I kind of feel they both need some more storylines...

Very Special Guest Harry Connick Jr is doing a version of 'Anything Goes' where he keeps messing about with singing off the beat and it's annoying me. Also he seems to have morphed into the love child of Jonathan Frakes and Ricky Martin, so there's that. Eventually Anton and Nadiya turn up and do a lovely quickstep which is quite nice.

During Dance Debrief, Motsi waxes lyrical about Dev's dance having a great mixture of everything; Shirley praises Catherine's performance and technique and reminds us it was a 'simplistic' routine, the shade of it all. We focus on Chris's terrible flapping hands and lack of  'pump' step. Claudia says it's week three and Craig says 'yeah, that's a long way into the competition'. We then cover Oti and Kelvin's synchronicity by showing a clip where they're not quite in sync. Then we recover Craig telling Anton his teeth are fake and the mortification of realising the truth, and he actually looks like he might cry with shame, bless.

And now we finally come to the rest of the results. Safe: Saffron and AJ; Chris and Karen and Michelle and Giovanni, meaning Mike and Katya are our two before the bottom two and David and Nadiya are once again dancing off. And could give us the opportunity for our second 'Home James' blog title in a row.

David says 'there's a movie called Deja Vu, isn't there?' and Tess says 'that's right?' because she's clearly not sure (there is, a 2006 thing with Denzel Washington. I've never seen it). Bruno advises him to sweep Nadiya up in the romance. Of Batman.

With the saved couples we learn that Saffron's nan is in next week and they're doing couple's choice to her nan's favourite song. We don't, sadly, learn what this is but I'll laugh myself silly if it's street commercial. Claudia says she wants It Takes Two to make an hour long montage of Chris's funny faces. If it wasn't finally going back to its regular slot this week they'd probably have actually done that. Sooo stretched for content. Michelle's doing a salsa next week and is glad to be going back to Latin, Mike has lost a stone and thinks he looks taller.

We then get a plug for the podcast the social meeds, It Takes Two, and they're still doing that BBC Three nonsense bet that doesn't last the duration.

And so we come to the dance off. Like last week, it's not one for the ages, unless you're a collector of duff dance-offs. Anneka's lack of shit giving marginally improves her routine but only to the degree that she might get an extra point or two from the judges combined - and I don't say improved in terms of technique, it's more in the sense of her not caring and knowing she's likely going home that makes it a bit more enjoyable to watch. David's is also the same amount of marginally better, mostly because he doesn't grin like a loon part-way through this time.

With the judges, it looks like Shirley's been crying? Craig saves David and Nadiya for 'commitment and improvement', Motsi saves them for 'a more emotional show', and Bruno saves them for being 'more convincing'. Shirley would also have saved them, funnily enough.

Anneka says she'd have saved them too, though Kevin says he wouldn't have. She says she's loved the whole thing even though she's covered in bruises and it's opened up a whole new world to her. One of her sons is getting married next year and she's determined to get on the dancefloor. Aww. Kevin says he was really worried on day one when she couldn't even clap but she's put in a lot of effort and he's really proud of her. They dance out to 'My Heart Will Go On' and we've witnessed our first early Kevin exit everyone. Next year it might happen to Giovanni?

So that's that for movie week! I for one am glad they didn't do Yesterday (and so should you be as I could rant about that film for 10,000 words easy). Shall we meet again same time same place next week to see if David is done for or becomes a new Dance-Off Goddess?