Michelle shock

Week 9: Top 7 Results (BLACKPOOL Week) - 17 November 2019

So remember when the Blackpool results dance was Iveta as a little girl dreaming about how one day she would grow up to become Iveta and conquer the universe? Well, this year we have the reverse of that: it's Nadiya in old lady make-up, reminiscing about her lost youth. (Can't believe they put ageing make-up on Nadiya rather than getting in Iconic Strictly Icon Nadiya's Mum to play the part tbh.) She holds a picture of herself and Johannes from their wedding day and dances a sad waltz with it (to 'Mia and Sebastian's Theme' from La La Land, and big up to Laura on Twitter for identifying it for me because it was driving me mad trying to think of it) by herself before we flash back to the days of her youth, when she was being wooed by so many fine young gentlemen, but the one who truly caught her eye was Johannes. It's all very lovely and romantic, as long as you try to ignore the fact that the other female pros are being wheeled around on lampposts that are on castors, which just reads really comically to me, I'm sorry.


Then the music changes to 'Sky Full Of Stars' by Coldplay (and cheers Alfie for that one) and the dancers all do that move where the men hold the women in the crook of their elbows and spin them around and the women take their feet off the floor so it's basically like they're flying which always makes me melt (I'm sappy, I'm sorry) and the celebs are revealed, and Emma Barton has got the most inexplicably enormous beehive wig on, and there's all manner of partner swapping going on and it all builds to a rather lovely crescendo, and I liked that much more than last night's opening number, for sure. [It was really sweet - and very much fitting thematically in the YEAR OF THE NAN - Rad]

Tess and Claudia return: Tess is now in silver chevroned sequins and Claudia is in a gold zebra print button-up dress. Claudia tips us off that Jason Gilkison was responsible for that choreography, and apparently it was all performed under a piece of art called 'The Museum Of The Moon' by Luke Jerram. Tess reminds us that it was "raining 10s" during the performance show, but sadly we must still say goodbye to one couple after tonight's dance-off. But we can't send anyone home without the judges (apparently), so here they are: Bruno, Shirley, Craig and Motsi. [I thought Shirley's hair and make-up looked stunning tonight - Rad]

Coming up later: Dance Debrief and a Westlife medley of other people's greatest hits. But first! A look at everything that went down last night. We open with Shirley, Craig and Bruno at the top of the Blackpool Tower, just thinkin' about being here again, and then Motsi full on catwalk-stomping out of the lift to join them, what a queen. We go behind the scenes in the Tower Ballroom where Emma points out all of the disturbance that the TV equipment has created, and Michelle shows us how things are a little bit more cramped than they're used to in Elstree. Saffron is excited to be here, and Karim is intimidated. Chris is in the gallery, calling for a tighter close-up on Karim's bottom (he gives the audience what they want), and Alex vows to channel Beyoncé.

In terms of post-performance reactions, Chris is amazed to have gone from 13 to 33 and to be told that he's fitting in with professional dancers, Alex says it was all a dream come true, Michelle feels very good about her vogueing and is very glad she did it, Saffron thinks the atmosphere is electric and it's so much more nerve-wracking than usual, but she's not going to forget it (spoiler: she sure isn't), a tearful Emma never thought she'd be good enough to get a 10, Kelvin's nan (whose name we now know to be June) thinks he's perfect, Kelvin thinks that seeing a 10 go up for you is all you could ever ask for, and Karim and Amy can't quite believe what just happened. [What, that they didn't get the 40 that was being set up for them? - Rad]

And after all that joy, it's time for one couple to come crashing back down to Earth because Tess is here with her Cue Cards o' Doom. The first couple safely through to Week 10 is Kelvin and Oti, and they'll be joined by Chris and Karen. The first couple in the dance-off is: Saffron and AJ. They mosey along sadly along to join Tess, and Saffron's already crying a bit, mumbling that she just wants to get it right this time. AJ chirpily steps in to tell her that she only made one little mistake and they'll work on that, and Tess does that bone-chilling baby voice in a bid to make her feel better. Shirley is asked for her guidance, and she tells Saffron to use her strong spine and to take full advantage of the second chance to show what she can do. Oh, and don't get upset about it, although it's a bit too late for that particular tip, looking at the redness of Saffron's eyes.

Claudia's in the corner with the two safe couples, and Chris tells us that he loves Saffron, who is "wise beyond her years" and she'll be cool under pressure. Claudia asks him how this evening went for him, and Chris confirms it's the biggest and best gig he's ever done in Blackpool. We revisit Chris's distaste for being told about "the basic steps" only to find them very very difficult, and we get a quick glimpse of the Ramsey Strictly Party from Chris's mother-in-law's front room, where everyone seems to be having a lovely time, especially Robin. Claudia reminds us that Kelvin surprised Oti this week with an early parental visit, with the bonus information that it wasn't just her mum who came over but also her godmother, and Oti says that the most annoying thing about it all was that she was texting her mum all day to show her how to download BBC iPlayer. Hee. Kelvin fills us in that his daughter Marnie is stanning for Emma and Anton, and reveals that he's going to do a Couple's Choice next week to the song he danced to at his wedding. Hope it's the conga!

Next: Westlife! Singing new single 'Hello My Love', but not sitting on stools just to keep us on our toes, and also them on theirs. It segues into 'Uptown Girl', which is danced to by Dianne, Nancy, Gorka and Graziano, and then it swaps up again into 'World Of Our Own' just in time for the key change. What, no 'Fool Again'? Cowards.

After that: Dance Debrief! Motsi wants another look at Emma and Anton, and says that Emma gives Anton space to dance. Isn't that "gapping"? Shirley shows us what a fall-away reverse actually is with footage from Alex's paso, then Craig is asked what Kelvin and Oti need to do to get a 10, and Craig says he thought he was picking his feet up too much in the chassés. Bruno takes us back to Karim's charleston, and he says that everyone in the room loved it, and who knows dancing if not Blackpudlians? We get a brief look at the crew working very hard to clear up the set without getting in the way of the cameras [which was adorable - Rad], and then that's it for another week.

So who's joining Saffron and AJ in the dance-off? Well, it's not Karim and Amy, and it's not Emma and Anton, so that leaves Alex and Michelle fighting it out for the last safe space, and it's at this point I remember that Alex and Michelle are besties, which makes this all the more poignant - but the red line goes on for Michelle for the second week in a row. Michelle tells Tess that it's disappointing to be here again but they wanted to take a risk for their Couple's Choice and do "a dance with a mission statement behind it". Craig tells Michelle to really go for it this time, accentuate everything, stomp the walks out and just sell the routine.

Claudia's with all of the safe couples, and we're reminded that it's Karim's birthday, and he says it's the best one he's ever had. Emma third-persons herself and says she never expected to get a 10 on Strictly, and she's so happy she could help Anton break his duck. Anton thanks Emma for facilitating it, and says that Pasha had 93 10s in his eight years on the show, so he's only got 91 to go. PLEASE GOD NO. Alex says that this has all been very special - she wouldn't have had the confidence to do that in week one, but now she does. Oh, and next week she's got an Argentine tango.

After our weekly reminder that the show is also available on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Citymapper, Nike Run Club and Just Eat, it's time for the dance-off. Saffron and AJ go first, and Saffron's pulled herself together from earlier to deliver a confident comeback performance, even if it's a little bit bumpy in the top line. She does, however, get bonus points from me for when her headpiece slips and she manages to quickly nudge it back into place in the nanosecond before going straight back into hold with AJ for another load of swivelling.

Michelle and Giovanni follow that, and you know what one of my problems with this routine is? That the most exciting bit of vogueing in the whole thing is done by Giovanni and the backing dancers before Michelle even walks on. Michelle has taken Craig's advice to be more deliberate in all her movements and the routine is indeed better for it, but it still lacks some wow factor for me. I'm still very confused by the section where Michelle disappears off camera and we linger on Giovanni and you fully expect this to be facilitating Michelle getting into a harness or something but then they cut back to her and she's just...sitting on a chaise longue? It's so anticlimactic. [Also the song, or the arrangement thereof, is... not in the singers' range - Rad]

Over to the judges, who are all looking a bit sick at having to make this decision, to be honest. Craig says it's hard for him to decide, and that's not usual: one couple took more notes on board, but one couple were better, so he's decided to save...Saffron and AJ. Motsi says they were two brilliant dances, but she's going to save Saffron and AJ. Bruno wants to congratulate them both for raising the game tonight with their performances, but he's going to save the couple who really nailed their dance: Saffron and AJ. Shirley agrees: she would have saved Saffron and AJ.

There's a standing ovation for Michelle, who says the whole experience has been amazing - she's 51 and she's never danced in her life. (I thought you were a theatre kid, Michelle! Make up your mind!) She thanks everyone for the opportunity to do this for her husband, her kids "and an entire community". She's got lots of new friends among the cast, and she's had a lot of best bits. And here they are! It's a lot of sass and a lot of Michelle talking earnestly over the top of it about how seriously she has taken the whole thing and how much she loves Giovanni. Giovanni says that he thinks Michelle is a phenomenal lady and he's very proud of her. Back in the studio, Michelle says she couldn't have done it without Giovanni, who has been transformative and her best friend and she's going to miss seeing him every day. Giovanni says they've laughed, they've cried, they've fought, they've argued, and he's loved every second of it. They do the "thank you! thank you! thank you!" thing at each other one last time, and then head to the floor for their final dance.

Next week: Bruno sings. No, seriously. That's what's happening. [Fuck. My. Life.  Blackpool Hangover week indeed - Rad]

Michelle and Giovanni dance-out to 'You're The First, My Last, My Everything' and this time it's Karim who's first to run onto the floor and fling his arms around both of them, bless his excitable little heart.

Post-show reactions: Michelle's loved doing the show and meeting her new family, but her highlight was meeting Giovanni and learning how to dance. Chris is devastated that Michelle's gone. Saffron says that being in the dance-off is emotional because you're happy that your dance went well but you're sad to see someone else go home. Karim says dancing at Blackpool was the best experience of his life. Emma still can't believe she got 10s. Alex is going straight back to training on Monday and she loves it. And Kelvin and Oti are packing their bags to go back to ELSTREE.

Next week: the post-Blackpool hangover, but weirdly no mention of any kind of -athon? Wonder what they'll do to fill the airtime. Join Rad next week to find out!