Last week! The cast of 2018 faced the public vote for the first time, and (unsurprisingly) Susannah and (slightly more surprisingly) Lee faced each other in the dance-off, with Susannah going home and Anton getting first-boot honours for the first time in his 382 years on the show. Now just(!) 14 celebrities remain, and they face the added pressure of Movie Week, where they have to hope that they draw a movie people actually like with a song that actually means something to fans of that film. Interestingly, rather than some big movie-referencing skit before the titles, we get some intense training room footage with the cast talking about how hard it all is and how everyone's raising their game and...it actually does look like that? Good work, class of 2018.
Titles! If you really want to see how far things have come in just a few short weeks, look at how Aljaž politely kisses Kate's hand, and think what sultry, filthy things they would be doing if they were filming the titles now. They'd probably have to blur it out to protect the children.
We open with a very special Harry Potter-themed pro dance.
AJ gets carried out on Johannes' and Graziano's shoulders, bearing the cup aloft (three boys one cup, told you this was porny), and then we have Tess and Claudia. Tess has a hot pink dress on with a slit right up one leg, and Claudia's in an A-line strapless white number. Both of them look really good. Aside from that peculiar outfit they put Claudia in for last week's results show, I feel like wardrobe are doing right by these two so far this series? Prove me wrong, Vicky Gill! Prove me wrong. Claudia summons this evening's movie critics: Darcey, Craig, Shirley and Bruno. And then it's time to welcome our Strictly stars, which means it's time for me to see if I can actually remember which film everyone's supposed to be doing when I see their outfits: Katie and Gorka (La La Land, definitely - Katie's yellow dress and Gorka's two-tone shoes are the giveaway), Charles and Karen (most likely An Officer And A Gentleman, outside chance of Down Periscope), Faye and Giovanni (Grease, duh), Seann and Katya (either The Matrix or the video to 'Just A Little' by Liberty X), Stacey and Kevin (Despicable Me, eeesh), Dr Ranj and Janette (Aladdin), Lee and Nadiya (Back To The Future), Lauren and AJ (Fame and oh my GOD what have they done to AJ's hair), Joe and Dianne (I actually remembered this was going to be High School Musical but I really don't think I would've got that from the costumes without assistance), Kate and Aljaž (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), Graeme and Oti (Spider-Man), Vick and Graziano (again, I remembered this was Mamma Mia! but those outfits aren't particularly steering), Danny and Amy (The Greatest Showman), and Ashley and Pasha (I drew a blank on this - of course it turned out to be Dirty Dancing but you all know my feelings on that movie by now so it's hardly a surprise I didn't recognise it). [To be fair, Ashley's look didn't exactly scream Baby Houseman so knowing the film wouldn't help that much. Although I will always stan for that film [ - Rad]
Claudia points out that Baby is not supposed to be in a corner (and Ashley and Pasha are indeed standing in the corner, well-played everyone), and Tess goes "not for long!" which isn't a great punchline, but oh well never mind. Vick and Graziano are up first, and they are dancing a salsa to 'Take A Chance On Me', which: no, never, don't you dare. Tess makes a crack about how Theresa May isn't the only one who likes to kick things off with an Abba song, just in case the prime minister is watching - though I assume she was probably watching The Chase. She loves The Chase, just like a normal person! In their VT, Graziano takes Vick to a Greek restaurant to break the news of their dance and their theme, and Vick frets that latin didn't go so well for her when she tried it, and maybe she's more of a ballroom girl? Graziano holds up a plate and is all "this is the jive, right?" and smashes it. Heh. In training, things are going a bit shakily, and Vick is fretting about having lots of props to contend with. Graziano compliments Vick on working so hard and not needing a break, and Vick says that she's just going to go out there, work her hardest, and smash it. Like a plate, you see? [This VT just gave me Greekentine Tango flashbacks, brrr - Rad]
It opens with some super-hammy slapstick involving Vick whacking Graziano with the window shutters and pulling away the chair he's about to sit in, and maybe this says too much about my low-rent sense of humour, but this is the most likeable I've found these two so far? I guess I'm a bit resistant to new pros being sold to me as "SEX SEX SEX", but present them to me as a klutzy goofball and I'm a lot more receptive. As far as the routine goes: it's a lot of faffing before we get to any actual salsa, but the salsa content when we get it is reasonable - Vick's legs are still a little bit sluggish, but she's definitely improved since the jive. The tricks are mostly successful, though there's an over-the-shoulder lift that's a little bumpy on the way up. It's a fun routine, though - she's clearly enjoying herself, and that definitely comes across, which makes it fun to watch. Definitely my favourite of her routines so far.
Singerwatch: it's Hayley, Jamie, Andrea and Tommy this week, so prepare yourself for some high notes later. Shirley opens by squeeing that it's her favourite week and she loves Abba, and she says that Vick was amazing - she nailed the lifts, she didn't miss a trick, she just needs to keep working on her rotation. Bruno 'sings' "how can I resist you?" and says that it really was a feelgood salsa inspired by a feelgood movie. It had good storytelling, and she managed the lifts beautifully. Craig would've liked a bit more energy in the turns - she's not quite spotting correctly - and he was enjoying the salsa so much that he would've liked to see more of it. But he thought she was great in the lifts, and he loved the little African section. Darcey finishes by saying that she loved the relationship between the two of them, and she could really see her relaxing into it.
They scamper up to the Clauditorium looking rightly pleased with themselves, and Vick says that as much as she hates the cliché, this has all been an emotional rollercoaster. Graziano says he's very happy for Vick doing so well. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 27. I guess I expected a slightly higher score than that, given the comments? But it's tied for their highest score, Vick seems happy with it, and also her parents are going to be back from holiday this week so she really wants to still be here so they can come to watch. Claudia's all "they went on holiday while you're on Strictly? Rude." This week's special guest to read the terms and conditions is Martine McCutcheon, who is so high-pitched with excitement that there is a little bit of blood dribbling out of my ears. I do quite like this surprise special guest bit. This should be how they announce next year's cast. [How do we know that's not what they're actually doing? - Rad]
In the death slot tonight: Dr Ranj and Janette. Aw, I was looking forward to this routine, but this doesn't bode well at all, does it? They're doing a quickstep to 'Prince Ali' from Aladdin, so Janette takes Ranj off to the Prince Edward Theatre to meet the West End cast of the show. The show's associate director/choreographer Ben Clare tells them that they need natural charm and charisma, which they already have, and the very handsome Matthew Croke who plays Aladdin says to remember the core "cheeky street rat" in Aladdin's personality, and Jade Ewen (yes, the Jade Ewen) who plays Jasmine says that they'll be wishing them luck, but they'll have to watch on iPlayer because they'll be on stage when it's on. Heh. (Although this dance went out at approximately 6.50pm and Aladdin doesn't start until 7.30pm, so maybe this was just one of those polite "yeah, I'll totally call you" brush-offs?) Janette rubs a magic lamp, and in a puff of smoke Ranj is being carried in on a sedan chair. Honestly, I love these two, but this feels very much like the VT someone gets when they're about to biff the routine horribly and possibly even go home as a result. Eep.
As promised, it starts with Ranj sitting on top of an elephant, which I think was slightly more exciting as a concept than as a visual. The routine gets off to a disappointing start - Ranj's ballroom hold doesn't even hold up for the first five seconds, and it's all rather slow for a quickstep. Maybe it's the music, but surely they could've adjusted the arrangement at least a little bit? He's quite light on his feet, but I'm pretty sure I spot a few moments where he goes wrong - there's quite a lot of gapping, and his ballroom technique as a whole just needs a lot of work - particularly the frame, which is very tight and hunched and just a lot of things that it shouldn't be.
Bruno remarks that the magic carpet encountered a bit of turbulence, and we get more of the "quickstep is really hard for a first ballroom dance" narrative that's so oddly prevalent this year, and Bruno finishes gently by saying it was good for a first attempt. Craig, unsurprisingly, is a little less gentle: Ranj's posture was poor, his top line was too loose, his kicks needed to be sharper...and then Bruno "falls off" his chair. Well, at least that's out of the way nice and early, I suppose. Tess cracks "do you need a doctor?" and...that's actually quite good ad libbing by Tess's standards, well done. Craig finishes by saying there was gapping, loose footwork, and he would've liked him to cover more of the floor. Darcey says it was fun and cheeky, but "the guys are right" - it has to be faster and more spirited, and while there were moments of that, there needed to be more. Her advice, as ever, is to strengthen his core. Shirley says that he is great out of hold, so he's going to need to get more comfortable with his frame for his upcoming ballroom dances, and she gives him a quick demo of what it's supposed to look like. But she thinks he's got talent, and it was "quite nice". Ouch.
In the Clauditorium, Ranj cops that it's a very different type of dance to everything he's had to do so far, and it's a lot to think about. And we're having to move quickly this evening, so we go straight to the scores: Craig 4, Darcey 5, Shirley 5, Bruno 6 for a total of 20. That's fair, I think. Janette says that quickstep is very hard to do for a first ballroom dance, which is brand new information [that rule only counts in week one, Stacey Dooley said so and she clearly will have investigated the rules for she is the famed investigator, sorry Ranj. Maybe she will even investigate the mystery of 2nd and 3rd place this year. That would genuinely be a documentary I would watch - Rad]. Claudia teases that coming up soon, Kate will be a famous rabbit from a movie, she just hopes it's not Fatal Attraction. Two things: 1) I totally thought the punchline was going to be Watership Down, and 2) Jessica Rabbit is a human, not a rabbit. Her surname is Rabbit because her husband is a rabbit. Come on, this is not complicated. [Ah, but that means she is a Rabbit so I think the joke sort of holds up - Rad]
Next are Lee and Nadiya. This is a surprisingly poor performance position for someone who was in the dance-off last week. I guess they're not that fussed about keeping him around? Maybe his vote really was that low. Conspiracy theories aside, let's move on: in his VT, a mournful-sounding Lee says he was happy with what he put out there last Saturday, and you never know what's going to happen when the votes come in. And if it turns out no one voted for you, you just have to pick yourself up (IN A SEXY WAY), dust yourself off and move on. Two of Lee's pals - Duncan James and Alexandra Burke - contact him with a good luck message, and politely refrain from mentioning that they both had trouble getting people to vote for them too. Lee's cha cha cha has a Back To The Future theme, so Lee brings in a hoverboard (one of the shit real ones that doesn't actually hover, as opposed to the cool fictional ones that fly) to help him get into character. Lee says he won't give up without a fight.
Back in the studio, Lee is actually on an actual hoverboard (well, a bit of wood strapped to his feet while he hangs from a harness), and props to wardrobe for Lee's extremely accurate Marty McFly costume here. Less points for accuracy go to Nadiya as Sexy Doc Brown - Hallowe'en week is at the end of the month, hon. Anyway, Lee vamps the crowd up and Nadiya does A Lot while Lee unhooks himself, and I'm not sure the decision to open the routine with Lee doing some fairly crap moonwalking was a particularly sound one. The routine looks a bit better than it was in the training footage during the week, particularly from the waist down (not like that, grow up), but his free arm really has a mind of its own. At least that's definitely one they've got between them, I suppose.
Tess asks Craig if Lee has come back fighting, and Craig says "no" - the basic wasn't clean, he wasn't getting onto the leg, and it was "just full of camp mincing around". Tess says "pot, kettle" and then stares at the floor like she knows she really went off-script this time and she's probably going to get letters. Darcey tells Lee that she could see the enthusiasm and the attitude, and he's a natural performer - but the straight leg action is missing, and she's particularly bothered by his free arm wafting around instead of being placed. She thinks that overall, it's not his dance. Shirley says she can't believe he was in the bottom two last week and you really couldn't tell that this week - there were moments where he had some good rhythm and some nice facial expressions, but there was not the weight transference from foot to foot that he needed. Bruno says it wasn't a blockbuster, but it wasn't a flop either - he thought he worked very hard, and it had a lot of content, but it just wasn't consistent or refined enough.
They race up to the Clauditorium at 88mph, and Lee says that he really enjoyed the dance because he's a massive Back To The Future fan, and that flying in on a hoverboard was the highlight of his career. Scores: Craig 3, Darcey 5, Shirley 5, Bruno 6 ("they must be watching a different show!") for a total of 19. Claudia consoles him that it's his lowest score, but it's a very difficult dance. Honestly, where has this come from? It has been a week one dance since series one, it can't be that bloody hard. [My current working conspiracy theory is that because the last two years of cha cha storylines have been I hate it, it's shit, they might be considering replacing it with whichever 'couple's choice' dance takes off. I have absolutely no evidence to base this theory on, but you heard it here first anyway - Rad]
Next: Kate and Aljaž. I've not been keeping very close tabs, but surely these two have had the worst performance placements of anyone so far? The latest they've been on is fifth out of 15, last week. Anyway, last week she got good notes for her tango, and she's having a lovely time, hurrah. This week they're doing Aljaž's favourite dance, the slow foxtrot, and they're dancing to 'Why Don't You Do Right?' from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. Aljaž muses that yes, they probably should do it right. Aljaž tells Kate that the secret to channeling Jessica Rabbit is all in the hair (lol no, it's the cleavage, but I guess you can't really say that on BBC1 at 7.05pm) so he gives Kate a ratty-ass wig to help her get into character, and Kate's all "wow, lucky me". Kate says that she's never had long hair, and she isn't sure how she's going to handle it, but she's happy that Strictly has got her to a place where she's happy to put on a wig and be Jessica Rabbit.
The routine opens with Kate's leg emerging from behind a curtain on a dais, and it bears saying again: the hair/make-up/wardrobe team have done a stunning job with her Jessica Rabbit get-up. Unfortunately, Kate gets her heel caught on the second step as she makes her way down to the dancefloor and almost stacks it, but manages to steady herself (despite gasps from the audience) and shrugs it off in a very vampy way, and I think this is where I officially became team Kate Silverton For The Win, because that was awesome. Aljaž joins her, and it's probably best I don't dwell too much on how I still fancy him even when he's got a fluffy bunny tail attached to his trousers. It's a lovely, elegant foxtrot - slow, but assured. Kate's hand placement on Aljaž's shoulder is perfect, they have such lovely chemistry together, and she's clearly having a ball as the character. It takes a lot to get me to enjoy a foxtrot, but: mission well and truly accomplished. At the end Kate immediately re-enacts her near-fall and cracks herself up. I love her so much.
They make their way over to their mark next to Tess, and Kate apologises for the fall, saying she was meant to do a nice point, but never mind. Darcey tells her not to worry about the trip, because she channeled her inner cabaret artist here, and she was controlled throughout - she just needs to stick to Aljaž more, push herself right up against him and keep her left shoulder down. Darcey says she puts so much into each week, and it's a lovely surprise. Shirley says she married the steps to the sensuality of Jessica Rabbit, and she almost didn't recognise her - she thinks Kate stayed connected to Aljaž on the slow steps brilliantly, she just needs to pay a little more attention to when to use a heel and when to use a toe, but as a non-dancer she's fascinating to watch. I've spent this whole section wondering what that weird smudge between Kate's eyebrows is: it turns out it's Aljaž's bunny nose make-up rubbing off, which he now attends to. Bruno says he is "gobsmacked" and asks her "how does it feel to be bad? It feels good, doesn't it?" Heh. He says she has the instinct of a performer - she even made the stumble part of the choreography. Craig says that she did fall down the stairs, and she needs to make her throwaway oversway prettier, and she's taking her pivots all on her toes - but it was very sultry, very sexy and very seductive, and actually there was a lot to like about it. Just not anything he cares to mention specifically, I assume.
They bunny-hop up to the Clauditorium, where Kate says that she was the tomboy of the family and that's why she never had long hair or wore pretty dresses, so she's being transformed now and it's wonderful. Aww. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 29 - Kate's highest score so far, and Aljaž bounces up and down with delight. He then starts wiggling his bunny tail at the camera, and not to be pervy about this or anything but I think he should wear one of those every week if it means he's going to keep presenting his arse like that. I mean that's what I'm paying my licence fee for, I don't know about anyone else.
After a quick preview of what's still to come - which, slightly weirdly, includes a blink-and-you'll-miss-it snippet of Lee and Nadiya even though we've already seen them. Did they change the running order late in the day and not spot this when they were re-editing the VT? Anyway, the preview includes lots of people talking about whether they prefer ballroom or latin, and you've only done one of each, calm the heck down. (And in Joe's case, he's literally not done any ballroom at all before this week, so he in particular can calm down.)
Next we have Stacey and Kevin. God, I hate Minions. Did I mention that? Well, I do. They spend their VT eating lots of bananas, either because Minions love bananas or because Kevin got custody of Karen's food in the divorce. Kevin says it's the most ridiculous concept he's ever done on Strictly, and honestly I still think that dressing up as minions is less stupid than that time he tried to pretend that 'Love Ain't Here Any More' by Take That was about a happy couple moving house. [Or those junk-swinging This Ole House shorts. Or... - Rad] Harry Potter table dancing. Or terrible Kevin's Dream Paso Kevin and Stacey say "banana?" a lot of times, and oh my god please let this be over soon. In studio rehearsals, Stacey says that she was originally a bit disappointed that the other girls were getting to be, like, Jessica Rabbit or Baby Houseman or Mia Dolan and she has to be a Minion, but she's made peace with it because she knows the kids are going to love it. This reminds me of the time we did The Tempest as a school play and all of the other boys got to play kings or princes or cool spirits and I played the hideous, deformed monster, not that I'm still upset about it 20 years later or anything.
They're dancing the jive to 'Happy' and they both look absolutely ridiculous, but they've just decided to embrace it. It's a very Kevin Clifton jive in that it's extremely frenetic and relentless, and I think Stacey does a pretty good job of keeping up, although her footwork - the kicks in particular - is a little leaden. You can definitely see her energy flagging after about the first 45 seconds, but she soldiers on and it's actually far more enjoyable than the utterly preposterous concept has any right to be.
Shirley calls this "a major breakthrough for you", and says it's not easy to keep up with the king of jive, but Stacey maybe just became his queen. She didn't miss a beat, and that's to be applauded. Bruno says Stacey should be very happy, and he is delighted - she's taken all of their comments on board and come back and delivered. Craig says he could not agree more. Darcey says that Stacey has a wonderful, high-energy carefree action, a strong core, and she loved it. Stacey and Kevin both look at each other like maybe actually getting painted yellow was worth it after all?
In the Clauditorium, Stacey realises she probably shouldn't touch Claudia's white dress with her yellow hands and Claudia's all "please don't, it has to go back tomorrow". Heh. Stacey says she's had the best time, and the cha cha cha is now in the bin forever. Scores: eights all round for a total of 32. Kevin says that before they started, Stacey said she'd be happy if she got sixes or sevens, and Stacey says "I just didn't want the four". I'm really finding Stacey so likeable, this is not what I expected at all.
Joe and Dianne are up next, so Tess has to...whuzzat say? Chat to a YouTuber? Ugh, this is always death. Caspar Lee is in the audience, and once again I find myself wondering how people manage to become successful YouTubers without any natural charm or charisma because I honestly thought that was like 95 per cent of the job. (I'm counting my blessings that we're three weeks in and we haven't heard from Zoella yet.) The only interesting part of any of this is Antony Costa sitting next to him, looking cheesed off. Anyway, some girl in background full-on screams like she's just been abducted by Russian spies, because she's within 20 feet of a YouTuber. Kids today, eh? This week they've got the American smooth. Joe: "I'm not going to lie, I always thought it was a coffee." No you fucking didn't, leave the dad jokes to Graeme. Dianne says that their movie is High School Musical and the song is 'Breaking Free'. I would just like to point out here that technically High School Musical was a TV movie, and I hope that this leaves the door open for a Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?-themed tango next year. Joe says that his feet hurt because he's had to wear ballroom shoes after being allowed to wear hi-tops for the last two numbers and...suck it up, buttercup. Count yourself lucky you got to wear them for two weeks. Anyway, Joe quickly becomes accustomed to the shoes because when he's wearing them he can slide around the training room all the time, wheeeeee. (Joe Sugg is 27.) In honour of their theme, Joe takes Dianne to his actual high school, where he is greeted by screams from girls and what seems to be general indifference from the boys. He dances, they scream some more, Joe is winning this thing, let's all take the rest of the year off.
Joe has much the same problem with ballroom as Dr Ranj - the minute he has to get into hold, he's hunched right over and poking his bum out. It's almost as if there was a purpose between those two having to skip doing it until there was a theme week where they could cover it up with props and costumes, isn't it? He's generally better out of hold, except for an ill-advised section where he has to do a couple of steps by himself while Dianne twirls and it's very half-hearted, and there's a lift where Dianne leaps into his arms and he's clearly not quite ready. I would say his hold is a little better than Dr Ranj's, in that Joe's at least gets better from time to time whereas Ranj's seemed to get progressively worse, but there's definitely some work needed on his posture. Also: cover the goddamn floor properly.
Bruno says Joe is definitely not just a one-trick pony, he can ballroom and has such good phrasing. He has got to be careful about his bum sticking out though. Joe agrees that it is, and Bruno smirks "I bet she was on it!", gesturing to Dianne. That's given me some mental images that I'm not going to be able to get rid of easily. Craig says that his posture lets him down and his "little bottom" sticks out, so "you need to tuck that baby under". Eesh. However, Craig loves watching him dance. Darcey says that Joe has all the attributes of being a fairly good ballroom dancer, and she was impressed by how he found his topline every time he got into hold. He just needs to watch his hands when he's extending his arms. Shirley says that Joe has a willowy figure and a long neck, which gives him a real possibility to be strong in ballroom, but she didn't feel it had enough from the standing foot or that it covered enough floorspace. But she thinks he will be a frontrunner in the ballroom, nonetheless.
Up in the Clauditorium, we learn that Joe's mum came for the first time this week, and Joe said he didn't want to look in case she was crying. Mama Joe is dry-eyed but pantomimes it for effect. I like Mama Joe, I think. Joe says it was a good start to his ballroom, he thinks. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 6, Bruno 7 for a total of 26. Claudia tells us that later Katie will be in La-La Land, and she wonders if she'll bump into Tinky Winky. What makes the gag is Claudia turning to Joe all "you're young, you know what I mean" and Joe deadpanning "oh yeah, I remember". Heh.
We have Graeme and Oti next. Tess reminds us that Graeme is doing this to impress his kids, although the revelation that one of his kids is called Wilfred makes me a little less fond of Graeme. Last week's American smooth "did not work on any level", according to Craig, and Graeme says that it was a real wake-up call - especially when Lee and Nadiya ended up in the dance-off, because that was a surprise to everyone. This week they've got a Spider-Man-themed charleston, so Oti takes him abseiling down the ArcelorMittel Orbit at the Olympic Park in east London. Of course! I spend this entire segment thinking about the time James Jordan took Alex Jones abseiling, and it's the one time she really genuinely looked like she wanted to kick him in the nuts. To the dancefloor!
It opens with Graeme being lowered upside down, and Oti miming a kiss from a very safe distance. She then charlestons her heart out while Graeme gets out of his harness. The whole thing is camp as you like, but Graeme pulls it off quite well. He's got good bounce and swivel, and isn't above hamming it up. Also, Oti's face is a picture throughout: we really do not deserve her. Having Oti on this show has really made up for the loss of Natalie Lowe.
Craig: "Welcome back to the competition." Oti screams with delight. Darcey calls it "a super comeback" and tells him he looks good in an all-in-one. She loved the swivel, and says he didn't get tired in any of those lifts. Graeme: "Oh, I did." Hee. Shirley tells him that his boys can be really proud of him after that. Shirl, he only has one boy, he has two daughters - and girls can like Spider-Man too! We've got a female Doctor now and everything! Bruno says he's gone "from zero to superhero", and it wasn't so much a comeback as a miracle. He wants this level of quality from Graeme every week from now on.
They web up to the Clauditorium where Graeme says he was really worried about letting Oti down, in a very literal sense, in those lifts. Oti calls him her superhero. Scores: Craig 7, Darcey "a super 8" (like the film camera?), Shirley 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 31. Lol, charleston scoring. Claudia points out that it's double what he got last week. Oti is overjoyed - more by Craig's 7 than anything else, it seems.
Midway leaderboard:
1. Stacey & Kevin - 32
2. Graeme & Oti - 31
3. Kate & Aljaž - 29
4. Vick & Graziano - 27
5. Joe & Dianne - 26
6. Dr Ranj & Janette - 20
7. Lee & Nadiya - 19
I know there are still seven couples left to dance, but I really didn't expect to see Lee bottoming the leaderboard ever on this show - not this early in the competition, anyway.
Getting us back into the competition are Ashley and Pasha, who are going to do The Lift from Dirty Dancing, which basically means that whatever happens in the other 85 seconds of their routine is irrelevant, because people are only going to talk about whether they landed the lift or not. Their routine is a salsa, and they're dancing to '(I've Had) The Time Of My Life', of course. In possibly the least shocking news of the week, Ashley reveals that she was obsessed with Dirty Dancing as a kid, and asks "what's not to love about it?" The fact that it's really, really boring? I'm sorry, I've tried to watch it on several occasions and I don't think I've ever got further than about 30 minutes into it before suddenly remembering a load of laundry, or washing up, or a colonoscopy that I should probably be crossing off my to-do list instead. [HUSH YOUR MOUTH - Rad] As in the film, they practice the lift in water first, so anyone who's here for Pasha in a wet vest: fill your boots. In dress rehearsals, the lift goes badly, so Ashley is just left hoping that it all comes together on the night. Did this show turn into Dancing On Ice when I wasn't looking?
Obviously everything building up to The Lift is strong: this sort of dance suits Ashley very well, aside from a couple of slightly awkward underarm twists she's very smooth and relaxed, and I'm a big fan of Pasha's Patrick Swayze hairdo. Then comes The Lift, and of course it goes perfectly - and the little "you ready?" nod they do to each other right before is very cute. Also, the choreography does feel very Dirty Dancing while also being recognisably a salsa, which is worthy of respect, I think.
Bruno and Shirley are on their feet, and Ashley's a little overcome at the end because she really wanted to nail the lift and she did. Darcey says that Ashley can really sell a dance - Darcey has done that lift in "many, many different shows" and she knows it's about timing, placing, core strength and all those things, and Ashley held it without shaking. She thinks Ashley ticked all the boxes. Shirley is a huge Dirty Dancing fan "and a Patrick Swayze fan, God rest his soul" and she thinks Ashley did total justice to that number. Bruno says he could see that they put some steps in from the movie, but they never copied it - Pasha created something that was the perfect showcase for Ashley's talents. He loved how Ashley hit every accent of the music too. Craig says that he tried that lift once - in Austria, and he ended up with a hernia. I would like to hear the full story behind this, please, can we make some time for that on It Takes Two this week? Heck, I'd even listen to the podcast for that one. "I'm glad yours went well anyway, darling" he drawls, but then gets serious and says that it lacked a bit of rotation in the hips and straightness in the leg. Bruno tells Craig that he "[doesn't] know anything about straight". Craig shoots back: "thank you, Bruno, for your wise words of wisdom. Go and fall off the chair again." Bruno: "It's okay, I still have my own hips." Craig, chuckling: "So far!" Shirley laps the entire thing up, Darcey tries to act like she's being arch about it all, and all I can think about is the pickled-walnut face Len would have been making throughout that entire exchange.
In the Clauditorium, Ashley says that the pressure on them to get the lift right was immense. The rest of the routine, not so much. Scores: Craig 8, Darcey 9, Shirley 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 35. There's some chanting of "10! 10! 10!" ahead of Bruno's scoring, but it is not to be. In the background, Roger Rabbit Aljaž and Prep Danny Zuko Giovanni act like they're going to re-enact the lift (Aljaž is Baby, in case anyone's wondering) and this is both extremely weird and also distressingly hot. This episode is really making me question a lot of things about myself.
Katie and Gorka are next and in their VT, Gorka tells her that she was amazing last week: like a different, much more confident person. Katie says now that they're in week three, the main thing to concentrate on is the fun and the enjoyment. And the dancing? In training: Katie says she's feeling a bit deflated by the judges' comments so far, but she's just very happy to still be here. The way Gorka says "La La Land" is adorable. Gorka comes into training with resistance bands, to help Katie learn how two bodies dance together, and Katie says that she does feel like she's more aware of what she's doing with her body now. Gorka says that "day by day, she's getting better and better", and Katie says that she doesn't want to get too far ahead of herself, but she thinks she's starting to hear the beat. Heh. She feels like she can be herself now, and she just hopes that she can show everyone this week that she's relaxed and having fun.
So they're dancing to 'City Of Stars', of course, and there's a little flub at the beginning when Gorka reaches his hand across for Katie's, but she isn't there yet, so he ends up putting his hand on her elbow, then she realises and moves hers across and just sort of drapes it over his thumb. Heh. The good news is that it doesn't faze her at all, and she continues with confidence. I think she still needs to perform more, and her footwork still needs work when she's out of hold, but the sections where she's in hold are actually some quite decent foxtrot, and she really is starting to look happy and relaxed out there, which I think is a good sign. Both she and Gorka are clearly very happy with how it went at the end.
Shirley says that they really moved her today - the music was beautiful, "you went into that La-La feeling"(?), she didn't make any mistakes, and she had some quite nice footwork - now she can push herself to do even more of the dancing. Bruno says that there was a wonderful dreamy quality, and she seemed to be enjoying herself, and she produced some very nice lines - he wants her to embrace it. Craig says it had a bit of a tentative start, and her timing coming down the stairs was a little bit of an issue, but he thinks she's had a bit of a breakthrough with her musicality, and she's starting to feel and hear the music. Darcey agrees that Katie's going in the right direction each week (except last week? When she was four points down on the week before?), and she has to learn to take that music everywhere she goes.
Up in the Clauditorium, Katie says that she really let go and had fun this week - she thinks it being Movie Week helped, because the whole thing is so light-hearted. Claudia jokes that Katie and Gorka have become each other's life coaches. Scores: Craig 5, Darcey 5, Shirley 6, Bruno 6 for a total of 22. Katie grins that she didn't even know what scores in their 20s felt like, and Gorka does his best not to look too pissed-off this week.
Seann and Katya are next, hoping to recover from last week's ill-fated jive. This week they have the paso doble, "to The Matrix theme tune" (aka 'Clubbed To Death'). Seann loves the film, and really wants to get the dance right. He's going to be flying this week, in a harness (seriously, is this show turning into Dancing On Ice?), and Seann is worried that the nice man who has to attach the harness to him won't do it in time. Katya promises that she'll just do a lot of dancing to distract everyone if that happens. Seann vows to get this one right. [Given younger Kevin's goth phase, I bet this was on his long list of dream pasos somewhere and he is sticking pins in a Katya voodoo doll for revenge. Come to think of it... - Rad]
Shocker of all shocks: this is actually really good. I'd say maybe Seann isn't quite so solid in his frame as he would be ideally, but generally his shaping is good, his rhythm is good, his footwork is good and he's really selling it. There's a genuinely awesome move where Katya lies on the floor and Seann holds her by one leg and she basically pulls herself up into a standing position without using her arms, and it's incredible. The slo-mo section looks cool when it could have looked very silly, and the whole thing is just really dramatic and exciting in the way a paso should be. The harness man gets there on time, and Seann pulls off his assisted backflip, and only slightly wobbles when he lands it. All in all: pretty damn good, and much better than I ever expected it to be.
My favourite thing about Seann is the way that he bursts out laughing at the end of every dance, like he can't believe his own ridiculousness. I find it very endearing, and no less so here when it comes off the back of something that he genuinely did well at. (I think here it's mostly inspired by "how the heck do I get out of this harness?") Bruno mimics all of the moves and Shirley ducks for dear life. Bruno loves how clever and original it was, particularly the slow motion, and it never lost the power and the intensity. Craig calls it "profound, powerful, impassioned, strong, masculine, and I might even go as far as to say 'hot'." Seann finds this hilarious. Darcey loved the drama and the purpose, and says it was so convincing, and applauds Katya for her creativity. She just thinks Seann is a little wooden in the leg when he gets into position, and he just needs to soften those up a little bit. Shirley thought it was slick and brilliant choreography - she would never have thought that a comedian could come out and be so focused, and this came from his heart. She thinks he's a dark horse, and says that he really nailed it this week. (And she adds that even though he was off-time last week, his actual dancing was still good.)
In the Clauditorium, Seann says that he's loved being Neo: "I am the one." Scores: Craig 7, Darcey 7, Shirley 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 30. Seann laughs uproariously at every single one of them.
After a trailer for the podcast that I am still not going to listen to and the BBC Three nonsense that I couldn't care less about, it's time for Lauren and AJ and AJ's TTP: Total Tragic Perm. They've got a cha cha cha to the theme of Fame the movie, and to a lesser extent the TV series, which was also called Fame. AJ says that Lauren hides her emotions because she's a sportsperson, and Lauren says that she's never acted before - she gets confident when she remembers the steps, but it takes a while. In rehearsals, she missed a couple of steps, but Stacey and Kevin cheered her on. Lauren frets that you can see it written all over her face that she's still thinking about what comes next. She feels like she needs to be more confident, and AJ tells her that she's got this, and she just needs to get out there and have fun.
Unfortunately Lauren does not look comfortable at all opening the routine dancing by herself on the hood of a car, though at least the sportswoman side of her takes over when she has to leap into AJ's arms. Her rhythm is generally good, most of her footwork looks okay (though her legs could be straighter), but the performance side is still quite lacking and I don't think she ever really feels confident at any point in this routine. You can see AJ presumably giving her little pep talks the whole way through.
Tess says that she loves the look, particularly AJ's hair, and AJ's all "I have no idea what my hair is doing". Craig says it's the same problem as last week: it's all a bit lacklustre, and Lauren needs to overperform, if anything - she's got all of the ingredients, but it's just not coming across. Darcey agrees that Lauren needs to overexaggerate, and she thinks Lauren had a problem trying to flirt with AJ. She liked all the content, but she needs to straighten the leg and really sell the routine to deliver on her potential. Shirley says that she has the physique of a lady of latin, and she needs to point her feet more - she quite liked Lauren's personality though, and she saw some youthful effervescence in there, and thought it was "a good try". Bruno says he had an outfit just like Lauren's back in the 80s, and he thinks she's got it all at her disposal - she just needs to not be afraid to sell it and believe in herself. She needs to interact with her partner more, and play a role.
In the Clauditorium, Lauren joins the Cha Cha Haters Club (founder member: S Dooley) and cracks that her dad said her intro this week would be "attempting the cha cha cha: Lauren Steadman". Wow, Lauren's dad is harsh. (But kind of funny.) Claudia asks her if she's always internalising everything because she's an athlete, and AJ replies for her saying yes she does, but she is having a good time, and it is a hard dance. Wow, it's like Judge Rinder and Oksana in reverse. Scores: Craig 4, Darcey 5, Shirley 5, Bruno 6 for a total of 20. "It's done," Claudia assures her.
Charles and Karen are on next, with their American smooth. In their VT, they recall going a bit wrong last week and Karen says that there wasn't really anyone to blame, while Charles points at her. Heh. Charles's VT is all about him taking himself too seriously, talking about the process and listing the A-listers he's worked with: Morgan Freeman, Sean Bean, Heath Ledger, Tanya Turner, Shane from Boyzone. Charles's mum comes to watch him and Karen training, and tells him that he looks nervous and needs to relax more. He asks her what score she would give him, and she says "five". I hope she's on the shortlist to stand in for Bruno when he takes his long weekend Miami shag-break this year.
They're dancing to 'Up Where We Belong', and it's quite gappy and a bit stiff. Also Karen appears to be wearing that ratty wig that Aljaž was making Kate rehearse in. There is some quite nice choreography in this, but can I make a general plea here please: now that there will actually be a week in which the couples can do a full contempowaft routine if they so choose to, can we please keep that sort of thing out of ballroom? I'm not a purist by any means but you've got an outlet for all of your billowing-white-outfit aspirations now, so try to contain them until the appropriate time.
Tess says she hopes the judges are more generous than Charles's mum. Darcey opens by saying that he really looks the part, and he has extraordinary balance - Karen's clearly very confident in his arms, particularly in that one-armed lift that looked effortless. Shirley tells them that they both look stunning, and she loved some of the open pieces of the choreography and the lift at the end, but she advises him to really spend more attention listening to the music, because she's finding it hard to discern where the quicks and the slows are. It was an improvement, though. Bruno says he makes a very convincing leading man, with strong presence and a light touch. Craig says that he felt they were fighting each other a bit, and that there were some timing issues - the partnership isn't quite gelling just yet, but he thinks it will.
Charles tells Claudia that he's pleased to be told that he's improving, and he's taking that all as a positive. Karen thanks him for not dropping her. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 6, Shirley 6, Bruno 7 for a total of 25. They're clearly not thrilled with those scores, but trying to put a positive face on it all.
Our penultimate couple of the night are Faye and Giovanni, who will be dancing a quickstep to 'You're The One That I Want' from Grease. In her VT, Faye says that she's had good comments from Craig two weeks in a row - will it all go downhill from here? In training, Faye is doing her best to channel Bad Sandy, but keeps giggling because she's more of a sweaters and poodle skirts kind of girl in real life. She thinks Giovanni is a natural as Danny, on the other hand. We're treated to a home movie of Giovanni in (presumably) Grease when he was a nipper, and Faye ribs him that she hopes he's improved since then. While they're in studio rehearsals, Joe says that he had a crush on Bad Sandy as a kid and also a crush on Faye, so this is one for the wank bank (he may have phrased it slightly differently).
It opens with Neil and Johannes as T-Birds making fun of Giovanni in his letterman cardigan, while Faye struts past in sprayed-on trousers. Giovanni wails "Faye!" and she replies, of course, "tell me about it, stud". Their quickstep is ridiculously quick, to the extent that it's actually kind of jarring when they first get into hold and whip across the floor. It really hammers home just how slow Ranj and Janette's was, for sure. Lee from Steps in the audience, on his feet and clapping.
Shirley calls it "electrifying", and loves the diverse range of chassés across the routine, and Faye's positioning on the right side of Giovanni's body - she thinks it's one of the best quicksteps she's ever seen on Strictly. Tess asks Bruno if he has chills, and if they're multiplying, and Bruno responds by bellowing that he's losing control (how would we even tell), pulling his jacket off and running on to the studio floor to press himself up against Faye. Craig calls it "fab-yoo-lous". Darcey says that Giovanni's choreography was fabulous and challenging, and Faye was properly gliding, which was stunning. Tess declares that it's "the first time Bruno's hit the floor". Does she not go to the wrap party?
Claudia asks Faye if she's in heaven, and Faye grins that she's going to stay dressed like this forever. Scores: all the nines for a total of 36.
Closing the show, that leaves Danny and Amy with their The Greatest Showman-themed paso. They go to the cinema to watch the film (or, to be perfectly honest, what looks suspiciously like the trailer for the film). Amy warns Danny that as well as mastering the paso, he's got to get the hang of all the props that they'll be deploying in this routine. Danny says that he sees a talented musical theatre performer capturing the imagination of the world in this film - and that's what he's got to do with this routine.
Full disclosure: I have not seen this film, and have no real inclination to do so, so my reading of what's going on here may not be entirely accurate. Danny starts on a podium while Amy is lowered from the ceiling in a hoop. He's quite good at the solo parts where he has to strike poses and capture a paso accent, but when they're in hold, he's quite skippy and a little flimsy. There's a lot of spectacle going on around them both, it's just a shame the dance doesn't completely live up to it.
Bruno says that Danny really sold it, it was a great number with great dancing, and then delivers the Brendan Cole memorial "weren't the make-up and costumes great?" speech. Craig found it stiff and lacking in Spanish lines, with some odd timing and a little incident that threw him off at the beginning - it wasn't brilliant, sadly. Darcey says it was a full routine, and she was impressed at the way Danny used the whole of his back to create the shapes - he just needs to be more prepared for when he's partnering Amy, because he sometimes looks quite surprised when she comes towards him. Darcey says she wants to see it again, and Tess is like "not in the dance-off though, right?" Shirley says it did need to be smoother, but she thought he did quite well with the marching, and she loved his sophistication.
In the Clauditorium, Danny says that he really felt the pressure as the one closing the show, "especially looking up and seeing Hugh". An entire nation is like "wha? Was he there?" and then Danny clarifies that he meant in the video, in the VT. Ahh. Amy says he was getting more and more nervous as the show went on, and he did really well to finish the show. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 7, Bruno 8 for a total of 28.
Final leaderboard:
1. Faye & Giovanni - 36
2. Ashley & Pasha - 35
3. Stacey & Kevin - 32
4. Graeme & Oti - 31
5. Seann & Katya - 30
6. Kate & Aljaž - 29
7. Danny & Amy - 28
8. Vick & Graziano - 27
9. Joe & Dianne - 26
10. Charles & Karen - 25
11. Katie & Gorka - 22
12=. Dr Ranj & Janette - 20
12=. Lauren & AJ - 20
14. Lee & Nadiya - 19
One thing that's a lot of fun about this series so far: you really can't predict what the leaderboard is going to look like, can you? Claudia declares the vote open, and everyone starts lobbing popcorn around - Janette in particular is trying to lob it into Claudia's mouth while she's talking. There's a recap of everyone's dances along with the voting numbers, and I absolutely refuse to recap the recap when I've been sitting here for this long, sorry. Back in the studio, Tess reminds us that the results show is later this week because of Doctor Who, and there'll be a Singin' In The Rain-themed pro routine, and a performance from Gladys Knight. Who's going home? We'll find out soon...
1 comment:
Seann and Graeme are my favourites so far this series - both dances on Saturday were great, and they are so much more satisfying because they were both 'non-dancers' before the series began.
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